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ChristophTSS

Celestia: sees Spike Twilight, there is a pygmy lizard-pony standing behind you. Kill it like the rest.
 
Spike: Uh, actually ma’am, I’m a dragon!
 
Celestia: Kill it like the rest.
Valiant Spiral

Chaos Within Harmony
@Hureno  
Princess Celestia: Hrrrrk…….HRRRRRRRRRK….er…uh-oh…  
Mayor Mare: KILL HER!  
PC: NOOOOO!! TWIIIIIIL-(ripping and tearing sounds with rainbow-colored blood splattering everywhere)-erghk! oh god…oh god, wow…(more ripping and tearing and rainbow blood) ……choke on it…….
wildrook
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Spike: I like you. I’m going to call you Purple Smart.
 
Twilight: CALL ME THAT AGAIN, AND I’LL SNAP YOUR NECK!
 
(Later)
 
Celestia: PURPLE SMART, GET IN HERE!
 
Twilight: Celestia, damn it. (walks in) What is it, Your Majesty?
 
Celestia: I have a bitch of an itch on my left flan…(notices Spike) Twilight, why is there a purple dragon here? Kill it like the rest.
 
Spike: Uh, actually, I’m from Ponyville.
 
Celestia: …Kill it like the rest.
Hureno
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@BP  
Random Pony 1:The one that nearly wiped out our race  
Princess Celestia:Yeah  
RP2:The one caused by those filthy Draqounequi  
PC: Yeah  
RP3: The ones we purged as per your instruction?  
PC: YEAH!- See…..I might have shifted the blame on that one  
RP1: …..you what?  
PC: Remember when I said they were the ones who cause the disappearance of our precious cake  
RP4: We slaughtered thousands  
PC:….it was me  
RP2: HOW?!  
PC: I ATE IT!  
RP3:WHA?!  
PC: HOW DO YOU THINK I GOT SO FAAAAAAAAT!  
Everyone: (horrified)  
PC: And now I can die with a clear conscious
marioandsonic
Lunar Supporter - Helped forge New Lunar Republic's freedom in the face of the Solar Empire's oppressive tyrannical regime (April Fools 2023).
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Twilight: Princess Celestia, we have another traveler from Ponyville.
 
Celestia: Oh, please tell me you didn’t let them insi–
 
Apple Bloom: Howdy, Princess Celestia!
 
Celestia: OH FAUST DAMN IT!
 
Apple Bloom: Princess Celestia, ma’am? Mah friend Scootaloo told me that you could help us by…touching me.
 
Celestia: Do I look Catholic to you?
 
Twilight: Princess, I think she means she wants you to release her hidden potential.
 
Apple Bloom: Yeah, that.
 
Celestia: Fine. Stand still. It’s your first time, so I’ll be gentle. Now relax, as I reach deep inside you and grab hold of your essence.
 
Apple Bloom: Ah…need an adul-
 
Celestia: I AM AN ADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
Ripple_Shine
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

PC: Don’t worry, Twilight, I will entrust the duties of princess to Sweetie Belle; she is the third strongest of our kind.
 
TS: Princess, there’s only three of us left…
 
PC:…Sweetie Belle, how does it feel to be the bronze medal?
 
SB: It feels like everyone I know and love is dead.
 
PC:…Every party needs a pooper, that’s why they invited you. Party Pooper~ Party Pooper~
 
TS: Princess Celestia –
 
PC: Why are you still HEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRE?!
Hureno
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Pipsqueak:Celestia, you’ve been around for a long time, how old are you.  
Celestia: I am this many  
Pipsqueak:….you didn’t hold up anything  
Celestia:THAT’S HOW OLD I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM
Background Pony #6515
Twiliiiight!  
I saw a Parasprite … it was pretty.  
….  
Whips its ass!