You just stared at the pony who had said that. At least you were fairly certain she was a pony; she was huge and built quite differently, looking much more equine than the ‘ponies’ you were used to. Her features, from her muzzle to her horn and wings, were far larger and more pronounced, and she had a massive rainbow mane that seemed to drift as if it were underwater. You figured by pony standards she would be quite beautiful… if she wasn’t such a complete wreck. She was weaving on the clearly undersized stool, her wings half-erect and wobbly, and her mane draping lifelessly over her shoulder. There were big bags under her dopey eyes, suggesting she had sat here sipping from what appeared to be a bottle of whiskey clutched between her hooves for quite some time. You weren’t sure what to say so you just flashed a sympathetic smile.

“But no!” she said, slurring heavily and struggling to stay awake, “They said girls think queens are mean and old and ugly so they said I hadda be a princess…” she sighed heavily, “they think I’m old… and mean… and… and PINK! They think I’m pink! …And they say horribable things about me… …” she slurred and trailed off into a mumble you couldn’t quite hear.

She was clearly having one hell of a bad day. “But if they made you a princess because queens are old and mean and ugly, that must mean you’re nice and young and beautiful, right?”

She stared with her mouth agape, as if it didn’t even sink in at first, and a faint dopey smile spread across her face. “You’re sweet… c’mere.” Her horn lit up a warm yellow and you and your stool were pulled toward her. You tried to fight it but it was like struggling against a strong current that thrust you roughly into her side. “No nononono…” she mumbled, “I’m giving you a winghug… don’t fight it let it happen.” She draped her huge wing around you and pressed you against her warm body, and you caught a strong whiff of alcohol on her breath as she leaned in and nuzzled your cheek.

“There there,” you said, unsure of what to say as you fought your arm free of her surprisingly strong wing and stroked her shoulder.

“See?” she slurred, “Imma nice pony. I’m nice and soft and warm… You don’t think I’m a tyrant do you? Or a troll or a pervert? I didn’t wanna to send my sister to the moon but I hadda stop her from destroying the world… and I didn’t wanna leave her there for a thousand years… but there was nuthin I could do… You believe me right…? Just say Imma big cute pretty princess who’s doing a good job… I really need that. I’m trying so hard…”

Yikes you thought. Just how absurdly powerful did these ‘ponies’ get?!

“I… I just want some comfort,” she lamented, cutting you off before you could even answer. “You’re… you’re pretty huggleable…” she said, gently stroking your back with her wing as she spoke, “I gotta few more hours before I gotta be up for work… wanna come to the palace and be my Royal Snuggler… for tonight…? I need a new Royal Snuggler…”

She seemed nice, and it was tempting, but you were too afraid to go with her. You were intimidated by Twilight Sparkle’s scary power, let alone what this pony was capable of. “I’m sorry,” you said, hoping you wouldn’t tick her off, “b-but I promised a friend I’d–”

“Say no more,” she slurred, putting a hoof to your mouth, “I’m proudda ya, doing what you promised your friend… because Friendship Is Magic. Don’t ever let anyone tell ya utherwise…” With that she rose into the air and vanished in a huge blinding flash of white light.

You just stared at the empty space where she had sat for what felt like an hour and then returned to your drink. You didn’t know who she was, but she must have one hell of a day job, and you hoped it all worked out for her in the end.