Uploaded by Background Pony #7230
1000x1000 PNG 70 kBInterested in advertising on Derpibooru? Click here for information!
Help fund the $15 daily operational cost of Derpibooru - support us financially!
Description
No description provided.
Tags
+-SH safe2268577 +-SH artist:khorme487 +-SH oc998778 +-SH oc only731207 +-SH oc:ultramare251 +-SH earth pony546254 +-SH pony1701198 +-SH belly button118685 +-SH bike shorts203 +-SH clothes678785 +-SH do you even lift152 +-SH gritted teeth20685 +-SH monochrome180496 +-SH sketch87675 +-SH solo1506296 +-SH sweat44150 +-SH sweatband790 +-SH weight lifting793 +-SH weights1262 +-SH workout1067
Loading...
Loading...
i can only dream of being that spontaneously clever
Aaaand now I imagine Calm Wind doing just what’s described in that glorious copypasta.
I READ OP’S QUESTION AND IMMEDIATELY SAID TO MYSELF, I’M GOING TO SIT RIGHT DOWN AND TELL THIS MOTHERFUCKER EXACTLY HOW I EAT MY MOTHERFUCKING STEEL CUT OATZ
I MAKE A GIGANTIC FUCKING BATCH EVERY FOUR DAYS. WHEN IM DONE I HAVE AN ENOURMOUS BOWL OF STEEL CUT OATZ AND AT THIS POINT I GENERALLY TAKE THE FIRST FEW FEET OF MY COCK OUT OF MY PANTS AND FAP BECAUSE THE SIGHT IS BEAUTIFUL
EVERY MORNING I TAKE A GOODLY PORTION OF THAT FUCKING POND OF GLORY AND I POUR VANILLA FUCKING SOYMILK INTO THE FUCKING BOWL WITH THE FUCKING OATZ AND I PUT THEM IN THE MICROWAVE WHERE I PICTURE THEM FUCKING WHILE THEY HEAT UP
I’VE NOW GOT A BOWL OF HOT OATZ AND AN INFALLIBLY RIGID DICK BUT I AM NOT DONE MOTHERFUCKER AND IT IS NOT YET TIME TO EAT
I REACH AROUND BEHIND ME AND GRAB MY NUTS FROM THE CUPBOARD AND SPRINKLE A BUNCH OF WALNUTS INTO THAT FUCKING BOWL. I GRAB MY RAISINS AND I SHAKE MY RAISINS INTO THAT FUCKING BOWL, I GRAB MY PRUNES AND I LAY MY PRUNES INTO THAT FUCKING BOWL, AND I GRAB MY FUCKING NAKED BANANA AND I LAYER IT INTO THAT FUCKING BOWL.
AT THIS POINT I COLLAPSE ONTO THE FLOOR AND FUCK A NEW HOLE INTO THE HARDWOOD OF MY KITCHEN BECAUSE I JUST CAN’T FUCKING STAND MY GORGEOUS FUCKING OATZ, THEN I STAND UP AND I EAT THAT FUCKING BOWL, THE WHOLE FUCKING THING INCLUDING THE BOWL ITSELF, WITHOUT ANY UTENSILS AND THEN I GO THROW MYSELF AT THE SEX DOLL I HAVE DRESSED UP LIKE THE QUAKER OATZ GUY AND I LITERALLY FUCK IT UNTIL MY NEIGHBORS CALL THE COPS.