Hormones Twi…

Placing your hoof on his lap is not helping, Twi.

@Spiritus Arcane  
Er, I mean MORE Sparity fics would use that…

@Trickquestion  
You know, considering how many nerds have to be among ponyfic writers, you’d think less Sparity fics would use that first bit.

Worse yet, he’s not clothed, so it’s VERY noticeable.

lol this is gold XD
 
and the comments have made my day :D

@observer
 
SPIKE: ‘All right, so, ah, do I get any privileges as a consort?’ Spike looked up from the stack of scrolls before him, craning up slightly to better see Shining Armor.’
 
SHINING: ‘Well, you - no, no you don’t.’
 
SPIKE:‘Not even some special guest pass or something?’
 
SHINING:‘Well, that depends if your wife - I mean, your wives give it to you.’ ‘It’s no different from being married except living in a big house with magical things everywhere.’
 
SPIKE:‘I knew there was a reason we didn’t get along.’
 
SHINING:‘We didn’t? Aw…’
 
SPIKE:‘Well, didn’t.’ ‘I’m not really running in the option route here.’ ‘You’re the only guy I know married to a Princess.’
 
SHINING:‘Spike, you have to take this positively.’ ‘I mean, you’re a lucky guy. Princess Celestia’s been single forever, and Twilight could actually use a head that doesn’t revolve around books every minute of the day.’
 
SPIKE:‘So, basically, the only thing I’m getting is a coat I have to wear at all times that says…’ ‘Property of the Royal Princesses Celestia and Twilight.’
 
SHINING:‘Hey, it’s a nice coat!’ ‘Cadance even let me put decals on mine!’

@Background Pony  
First his big sister, now his mother. Poor Spike, he comes from a seriously fucked-up family.
 
and nobody bothered to tell him that he could just rub one out, he has hands after all.

@Jryvn  
Celestia: “could you please teach me that spell and then leave me and Spike alone for a moment?”

@Gundlach  
Celestia: “TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!!!  
.. Meet me in the library.”

@Gundlach  
What the hell just happened? =_=;

@Prof.NightJack  
Twilight: “But………I don’t know any female dragons.”
 
She scratches her chin for a few seconds.
 
Twilight: “AHA! If I don’t know any female dragons, I’ll make a female dragon!”
 
After about a week of studying transfiguration spells, she surprises Spike by transforming herself into a female dragon; leading to regular and frequent ‘relief’ sessions.

@Prof.NightJack  
Twilight: “But………I don’t know any female dragons.”
 
She scratches her chin for a few seconds.
 
Twilight: “AHA! If I don’t know any female dragons, I’ll make a female dragon!”
 
After about a week of studying transfiguration spells, she surprises Spike by transforming herself into a female dragon; leading to regular and frequent ‘relief’ sessions.

@Prof.NightJack  
Twilight: “Well Spike, it looks like we’re off to the land of “Here Be Dragons.”

@Gundlach  
Doctor: “Find a female dragon I guess.” walks out

@Prof.NightJack  
begs at the doctor’s hooves; tears streaming down her face  
Twilight: “Please! I need your advice on what to do! With no books about dragons, I’m lost! I beg of you, help me!”

@Gundlach  
Doctor: “THEN STOP TALKING ABOUT WHAT YOU DO WITH HIS DICK!”

@Prof.NightJack  
Spike: immediately retracts out of fear  
Twilight: “You can’t neuter him! He’s not a pet! He’s practically my little brother…son…something.”

@Gundlach  
Doctor: “THAT”S IT, I’m getting the Neuter-Tron 500!”

@Prof.NightJack  
Spike: “Uh…Twilight?”  
Twilight: “See!? He’s doing it again. What should I do?”

Clearly he’s realized everypony is naked. Constantly.

@DaughterofZeus  
Doctor: “OKAY, I really don’t need to know of you “personal” time… I need a drink.”

@Prof.NightJack  
Twilight: “We also fuck nowadays.”

@Background Pony  
Doctor: “O-okay I REALLY didn’t need to know that… at all!”

@Prof.NightJack  
Twilight: “They also get in the way of everything. They’re so big and annoying, when I wake up in the morning they’re poking right into my backside, and he sleeps on the floor for pony’s sake!”