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Description
Well, yesterday I’ve got a sad and shocking news that Justin, one of my friends (known online as koobikitsune or CobaltTheUnicorn) passed away recently… At first I thought it was a fake news but sadly I could confirm it’s true…
So, here’s a little comic to commemorate him and his characters, and possibly give him some attention he deserves as a very kind person he was. He just wanted to see me succeed and has supported me since forever.
Hopefully, he’s in a better place now.
His OC’s names are: Sweet Words (yellow pegasus), Cinnamon Bun (brown pegasus in a cook’s hat), Cobalt (the Not Trixie unicorn), Show Stopper (pink filly), Stirling Silver (silver unicorn) and Rhythm a capella (the singing earth pony) and Dopple the changeling. And my Berzie, of course.
Here’s dSana’s tribute:
>>1978309
So, here’s a little comic to commemorate him and his characters, and possibly give him some attention he deserves as a very kind person he was. He just wanted to see me succeed and has supported me since forever.
Hopefully, he’s in a better place now.
His OC’s names are: Sweet Words (yellow pegasus), Cinnamon Bun (brown pegasus in a cook’s hat), Cobalt (the Not Trixie unicorn), Show Stopper (pink filly), Stirling Silver (silver unicorn) and Rhythm a capella (the singing earth pony) and Dopple the changeling. And my Berzie, of course.
Here’s dSana’s tribute:
>>1978309
I relate to these things entirely. I’ve been stuck working two jobs just to have the full time hours I need to get by for two years, and that’s finally looking to change next month. I, too, have not had a sleep schedule or a break from depression’s grasp for a while, now. I am making efforts, now, but I too was trapped in a vicious cycle for quite a while.
No time is a good time for someone to pass away unexpectedly, that’s the entire point. The grim truth is that these things just happen sometimes, and we have to move past it. The important thing is that you can’t let yourself get bogged down with ‘what if’s and ‘I should have’s. Foresight is 20/20. Yes, you could have addressed things sooner, but you didn’t expect to lose anything. It’s human nature to take the status quo for granted, and while we can practice to not take the people in our lives for granted, the fact is we only have so much social energy each day to disperse amongst the people we know. A sad fact is that work, school and family take up a good chunk of that. What’s left is given to our closer friends online and in person. You can’t spread yourself so thin as to keep up with everyone. We will always encounter deaths, and have these feelings of neglect, but the guilt serves no purpose but to worsen your state of mind.
I’ve been seeing a therapist and trying medication for both my onset depression and my inherited anxiety disorder for the first time, ever, and though the effects haven’t kicked in, yet, I do feel more at ease with myself, now that I’m able to make efforts to improve my situation.
Stagnancy is the road map that depression follows. So is loneliness. Fight against the thoughts to continue doing nothing, and even if it’s small, achieve something each day and build up to greater things, be it scheduled therapy sessions, working through school, plans with friends, etc. You’d be surprised how much difference it makes to have something to look forward to on any given day.
Edited
so don’t forgive yourself. you should’ve got your act together sooner. you ditzed around and people dies before you could feel like you repaid them. that’s what happens when you get caught by the terrible trivium. if you’re not careful, you blink and you’re thirty.
but I mean holy crap it’s not unforgivable. lots of people get sucked into that stuff; vidya’s poured billions into getting people to waste their time. you’re doing better now, and starting to get a handle on your life. sure you can’t help cobalt, but he never expected you to repay him. if you did repay him, his wonderful act of giving would’ve just been business as usual. and now that you know the danger of the terrible trivium, you can help people who are still kicking, and do some wonderful things yourself.
so you fucked up, you can’t make it up to him, and that sucks. that doesn’t mean you need to beat yourself up over it, or that you did something horribly wrong. you just made a little mistake, and thanks to bad timing you’re stuck with it. so own up to it, let it besmirch your stirling record, then go enjoy yourself, help others, avoid vidya like the plague, and just enjoy the friends that you have, or will make. you can be sad about losing a friend, and still feel happy for the sun shining on your face. you still have a lot to do, and more people to help who are still around, so let yourself be sad, then go do the things you love, and enjoy!
that being said, I feel so baaaaaaad about madmax why couldn’t we save her whyyyyy
also go look at this for a while.
Edited
I’ll be ok eventually. And I’m sorry If I come across as overly dramatic or depressing. Every time I write out something involving a lost friend. I break out into sobbing. Cobalt is the second friend in 4 months that I’ve lost and only heard about after the fact. But… Time will heal my grief.
It’s just that, I wish I had the chance to thank him, for everything he’d done for me. It was only a few times, but he helped me with my work. And he helped me keep a friend from going homeless. Literally doing so without a second thought. Without even going over what he wanted in return for his help since I offered a few commissions. Most would demand to have a clear line of what they’d be getting in return. I wonder now If he cared about the art as much as the people looking for help. I’m sure he did. But he had his priorities straight. People matter more then some artwork… I took him for granted. I’ve taken time for granted. I always assume there’s more time. How could I not? I’m only in my 20’s… Just like he was.
I met him 2 years ago. But only really talked to him over the last year cause of his commissions. I only scratched the surface of what I owed him. I easily could of done more, but I worked on other things and wasted so much time. I could have just refunded people and focused on him. It was well within my ability but I felt bad doing so, and he was willing to wait. Not minding as long as he was updated. And were I’m sure I had thanked him and said a few nice things about how he had helped me. I could have done so much more. He deserved so much better.
I know the art and money does not matter. It’s the act of selflessness that mattered. And instead of showing gratitude. I made a handful of things for him every so often, that were small, and essentially told him, “I’ll get to you later after this thing” multiple times, over the course of a year (things like a few pics but spread out over that year). Even if he was ok with it, since we were getting updates to stuff. Like an anthro of his oc (cobalt his unicorn). I could have done so much more and I hate myself so much for my lazyness and inability to get my head out of my ass.
Over the last few months since the start of the new year I’ve made changes to my work so I have solid flow of work and scheduling. And have finally been on a steady sleep schedule and work schedule, for the first time since I left college. But I could easily have done this last year. Or even done so the year before that. But I’d rather play games and stream myself doing FUCKING… NOTHING… for HOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUURS. on end. Sometimes I’d even leave to take naps and pass out till the following day. Because I couldn’t be bothered control my sleep schedule. I let myself fall into a depression cause I was to fucking lazy to do anything about it. But since I waited so long. Now I’m out of time to show cobalt how much he meant to me and how thankful I was. I know cobalt would likely forgive me for my bullshit. There was no way I could have known this would happen.
But I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.
I just wanted to say that this was beautiful to read, and that if you, by any stretch chance need someone to talk to, I’m more than happy to help. I never knew Justin, in fact I never had the chance to talk with him, but his character Dopple was a huge inspiration for me to create my own changeling character, and is, I think, the sweetest, purest OC I’ve yet to see in this fandom. He may have been a stranger to me, but through his characters and the grief felt by his friends, I feel like I’ve come to know him a bit more than that.
May we remember him in our hearts and minds, and recall how much joy and kindness he brought into our lives.
We are to young to think of death. We shouldn’t have to say goodbye to friends that are barely a few years older or younger then we are. Most of us are just starting to move into being adults. Why does a life barely into early adulthood need to be snuffed out… When there is some that have lived to pass 100.
I wish I’d been a better friend. I wish I tried to talk to you more. I wish I’d been able to finish what you’d commissioned so you could have had more things to enjoy. I wish I’d gotten to know you better. I wish I didn’t have to say goodbye so soon. I always assume I have more time before I lose another friend.
You were one of the most selfless people I’ve ever met. Never pushing or being rude. Always polite and sweet. Helping when possible. I’ll never forget you. Rest in peace cobalt. I hope we see each other again somehow.
RIP.
Good luck Justin, wherever you are headed
May he rest in peace.