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Description

My friend, who we will call Eastern Patriot, leads a simple life. They like anime. They like ’Merica. They like a lot of things. 
They also do not understand how to shut up. 
Please god help me.
 
Exact Text:
 
“So I was watching this anime about this girl who could drain your power by kissing and it made me want to jerk off so I whipped out my stallionhood to beat it by punching it with my hooves which is weird but it actually feels really good and I came so hard that I punched the wall and my mom got pissed so she told me to come and hang out with friends so I grabbed my skateboard and went to town to find White Chocolate but I forgot that he moved out of town and I had no money so I thought, I “I know who has money! Patch does!” So I came to find you!”

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Background Pony #751C
@Saria the Frost Mage  
When I was in highschool, and on my early days of the internet this is how my male friends would talk to me too. They’d tell entire stories like this. I was the quiet, untalkative sort so I appreciated having someone that could keep the conversation moving X3
Pumpkin Spice
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Artist -

Pumpkin Spice
@Background Pony #5D36  
“So I was watching this anime about this girl who could drain your power by kissing and it made me want to jerk off so I whipped out my stallionhood to beat it by punching it with my hooves which is weird but it actually feels really good and I came so hard that I punched the wall and my mom got pissed so she told me to come and hang out with friends so I grabbed my skateboard and went to town to find White Chocolate but I forgot that he moved out of town and I had no money so I thought, I “I know who has money! Patch does!” So I came to find you!”
Background Pony #751C
I never used anyone shorter than me as a headrest, and I’m at the size a rare few would be able to do the same to me. I’m going to wonder at the full text of what this colt is saying.