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Description
📖 Twilight have read and graded all your stories! 📖
However, since she’s a fictional character we’ll discard her opinions! I’m the one with the money, so naturally my opinions are the only one that matters.
These are ranked from best to worst and I’ve scored all entries based on how entertaining (or infuriating) I found them to be. If you got a good score, be very proud! I am not easy to please. If you got a bad score, then it is time for you to go sit in the corner and think about your sins. 👻
First off, the winner and best of the show:
Fic: Love, And Other Felonies
Author: PatchworkPoltergeist
Grade: A____+
Review: This is pretty much a raridash masterpiece. In my humble opinion, it far surpasses all of the fanfics the raridash community considers its cream of the crop. It has everything from great structure, wonderful characterizations and is an overall fun, creative take on the NMM-verse timeline. The world-building and lore is an added plus and a surprise (didn’t expect that due to time and theme restrictions). This is an excellent romance fanfic with Raridash at the heart of its story. The two of them share close to every moment together and have to lean on each other as there is no one else to trust in this harsh dystopian world. Watching these two walk on eggshells in a society where freewill and independent thinking is punishable by death is just as entertaining as it sounds!
If I had to critic this, I’d say the story’s epilogue threw me off. I feel that too much character development were lost in amnesia world and the romance aspect just didn’t fit the bill anymore. Felt forced and awkward.
Runner-ups:
Fic: My Little Confession
Author: Pixel Berry
Grade: B
Review: Very plain and simple, but it works! Story is very brief and the characters barely has any time to be introduced, but it covers the bare minimum and the characters struggles and exchanges are both endearing, cute and wholesome. Equis High seemed like an interesting place and it would’ve been great if you could’ve expand upon it. The prompt lean near the end was way too on the nose and really ruined the flow of narration! You should’ve kept up your integrity and make up your own ending. An epilogue for this wouldn’t hurt either since the story doesn’t fade out, it just kind of ends…
Style of narration was very odd and there were several pacing issues, but I feel the creativity makes up for it! These were the kind of stories I was hoping to get out of this competition. ❤️
Fic: Zero-Sun Game
Author: Undome Tinwe
Grade: C+
Review: This story had some good moments, but the genres stumble over each other constantly. This isn’t goofy enough to make it a good comedy and it definitely isn’t serious enough to work as a good drama. There aren’t any real struggles and Rainbow Dash’s character is practically flawless. She knows exactly what say and how to behave in order to get Rarity under her thumb and she can predict events with 100% accuracy, averting every single conflict thrown at her with ease. The more you read, the less intrigued you become. Everything becomes dull up until the ending where everything gets weird. In a story that has references to sex, vice and regicide, giving this story such a cheesy, awkward ending just didn’t feel right at all.
You should’ve gone full comedy and have Rainbow Dash under investigation for being a potential super villain, only for it to be revealed her actions were not a result of amorality but stupidity. Drama could’ve work too, but you’d have to lose the virtual-reality shtick as it sucks away all the tension.
Fic: The Finale
Author: Mymysteriox
Grade: F
Review: This story is called The Finale and as promised by the title, you are indeed dropped into the climax of a big dramatic story, having no clue as to what events has lead up to that moment. Ponies are yelling and crying and then the stage play end. The main characters are real pleased with themselves for performing this amazing play, we weren’t allowed to see! The problem with this fanfic is that it is barely anything but a transcript to its prompt. There’s no depth, backstory or even introductions. It’s an empty shell.
Fic: Every One After
Author: AJtheRaven
Grade: F
Review: This story’s attempt at entertainment revolves itself around Rarity and Rainbow Dash being as petty and shallow as possible. In short, Rainbow Dash want a trophy wife and Rarity want an obedient little pupper. These aspirations are forced to the point you wonder why the two of them are an item in the first place. Romance stories who’s conflict are the characters hating each other with the resolution of them kissing and making up in the end are by far the cheapest, dirtiest things in the world. To add on that, it completely fails to utilize the prompt in any creative manner, making this already dull story that much duller. None of the interactions carried any sincerity and every setup was predictable.
If you had plans to write a story out of pure spite then you might as well have gone full out and write a story where Rainbow Dash struggles to dispose of Rarity’s lifeless body after having strangled her to death in a fit of rage. At least that way you could’ve gotten a passing score for creativity.
Fic: The Experimental RariDash Crackfic
Author: Mystic Mind
Grade: F
Review: Every single joke in this are like nails on a chalk board. Rarity and Rainbow Dash serves no purpose to this story and could’ve been replaced by literally anyone. The narrator/Pinkie Pie is obnoxious to the point you want to bludgeon her to death and the story from beginning to end is nothing but meme characters stumbling around and bumping into each other. I was surprised you didn’t include a scene where Discord popped in and start twerking in front of the audience, all while promoting his fortnite centered twitch channel. There isn’t a single redeeming factor in this story… Everything is just nauseating.
This might have been a decent story if it was a straight faced drama, but with what I’ve seen from this story I kind of doubt your ability to write romance stories at all.
Fic: A Marvelous Day
Author: ModdieFox
Grade: F-
Review: This fanfic is a big empty template that someone put a raridash sticker onto. Any character could be switched out and it wouldn’t make a difference. There’s no story, no build-up and nothing in this carries any weight or consequence. Everything feels hollow and manufactured. A loveless, soulless entry.
This needed to be longer (less exposition, more anticipation) and the narration should’ve followed either Rarity’s or Rainbow’s internal monologue about the ups and downs in their relationship that eventually lead them to getting married. Big pay-offs like weddings aren’t satisfying if we don’t know the struggle.
Fic: Those Wedding Belle Rainbows
Author: Tangerine Blast
Grade: G
Review: I’m at a loss for words… This is a story that relies itself on the stupidity of its characters to push itself forward. Usually I don’t mind stupid characters if it’s there to make them cute, but in this fanfic it exist for no other reason than to create unnecessary conflicts. The lack of common sense makes every character insufferable and every action taken and every piece of dialogue spoken are annoying and borders on infuriating. The story has no direction and spirals itself into meandering filler. The author couldn’t even be bother to write an ending for this clustergack and instead he just copy&pastes a scene from Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean and calls it a day (no, I’m not joking).
I have nothing else to say other than this is the worst raridash fanfic I’ve ever read in my life. This isn’t your everyday kind of failure… This is advanced failure! This deserves a grade lower than F so I hereby award it with the special rating of G (standing for garbage). Kudos.
Disqualified entires:
Fic: Guiding Light
Author: Gesstalt
Grade: Disqualified (Doesn’t follow a prompt)
Review: This story tries way too hard to be poetic and mysterious, but due to its brief length it just comes off as unnecessary filler. It feels like someone opened up a book, ripped out a single page from it and presented it as a full story. Everything is vague and cryptic and you can’t make sense of anything. Elements are presented with the implications that they have greater meaning but it never amounts to anything and everything just feels pointless.
Fic: Love Eternal
Author: RDFan27
Grade: Disqualified (Doesn’t follow a prompt)
Review: In this story Rainbow Dash enters Rarity’s boutique and stands still. It’s a pretty ingenious concept, I gotta say! Think about it, Rainbow Dash likes sports so naturally she likes to move around, but because she likes Rarity so much she’s willing to go against her nature and stand still!! It’s the peak of romance!!!
Sarcasm aside, this fanfic fails to be creative at every turn. Stories with this premise have been written over 300+ times, going back as far as 2011. I didn’t like them back then and I don’t like them now. This story’s only redeeming factor is its ending which threw me into a laughing fit, though that wasn’t a feat of writing as much as it was timing.
🌟 Those were all the stories! 🌟
Thanks to everyone who participated, hope you all had fun! Sorry if you didn’t win, but not everybody have what it takes to be the best. I hope you found my critic helpful and that it’ll go a long way to help improve your future stories!
If you found some of these ratings were unfair, tough cookie! This is a contest and it’s not my job to hold your hand. If you don’t understand the mechanics of basic story telling or just can’t be bothered to write a sincere story, then you only have your own incompetence to blame. Get good or get bent, loser! 🎷
Let’s hear another round of applauses for @patchworkpoltergeist amazing story! 👏👏👏 Wooooo~
However, since she’s a fictional character we’ll discard her opinions! I’m the one with the money, so naturally my opinions are the only one that matters.
These are ranked from best to worst and I’ve scored all entries based on how entertaining (or infuriating) I found them to be. If you got a good score, be very proud! I am not easy to please. If you got a bad score, then it is time for you to go sit in the corner and think about your sins. 👻
First off, the winner and best of the show:
Fic: Love, And Other Felonies
Author: PatchworkPoltergeist
Grade: A____+
Review: This is pretty much a raridash masterpiece. In my humble opinion, it far surpasses all of the fanfics the raridash community considers its cream of the crop. It has everything from great structure, wonderful characterizations and is an overall fun, creative take on the NMM-verse timeline. The world-building and lore is an added plus and a surprise (didn’t expect that due to time and theme restrictions). This is an excellent romance fanfic with Raridash at the heart of its story. The two of them share close to every moment together and have to lean on each other as there is no one else to trust in this harsh dystopian world. Watching these two walk on eggshells in a society where freewill and independent thinking is punishable by death is just as entertaining as it sounds!
If I had to critic this, I’d say the story’s epilogue threw me off. I feel that too much character development were lost in amnesia world and the romance aspect just didn’t fit the bill anymore. Felt forced and awkward.
Runner-ups:
Fic: My Little Confession
Author: Pixel Berry
Grade: B
Review: Very plain and simple, but it works! Story is very brief and the characters barely has any time to be introduced, but it covers the bare minimum and the characters struggles and exchanges are both endearing, cute and wholesome. Equis High seemed like an interesting place and it would’ve been great if you could’ve expand upon it. The prompt lean near the end was way too on the nose and really ruined the flow of narration! You should’ve kept up your integrity and make up your own ending. An epilogue for this wouldn’t hurt either since the story doesn’t fade out, it just kind of ends…
Style of narration was very odd and there were several pacing issues, but I feel the creativity makes up for it! These were the kind of stories I was hoping to get out of this competition. ❤️
Fic: Zero-Sun Game
Author: Undome Tinwe
Grade: C+
Review: This story had some good moments, but the genres stumble over each other constantly. This isn’t goofy enough to make it a good comedy and it definitely isn’t serious enough to work as a good drama. There aren’t any real struggles and Rainbow Dash’s character is practically flawless. She knows exactly what say and how to behave in order to get Rarity under her thumb and she can predict events with 100% accuracy, averting every single conflict thrown at her with ease. The more you read, the less intrigued you become. Everything becomes dull up until the ending where everything gets weird. In a story that has references to sex, vice and regicide, giving this story such a cheesy, awkward ending just didn’t feel right at all.
You should’ve gone full comedy and have Rainbow Dash under investigation for being a potential super villain, only for it to be revealed her actions were not a result of amorality but stupidity. Drama could’ve work too, but you’d have to lose the virtual-reality shtick as it sucks away all the tension.
Fic: The Finale
Author: Mymysteriox
Grade: F
Review: This story is called The Finale and as promised by the title, you are indeed dropped into the climax of a big dramatic story, having no clue as to what events has lead up to that moment. Ponies are yelling and crying and then the stage play end. The main characters are real pleased with themselves for performing this amazing play, we weren’t allowed to see! The problem with this fanfic is that it is barely anything but a transcript to its prompt. There’s no depth, backstory or even introductions. It’s an empty shell.
Fic: Every One After
Author: AJtheRaven
Grade: F
Review: This story’s attempt at entertainment revolves itself around Rarity and Rainbow Dash being as petty and shallow as possible. In short, Rainbow Dash want a trophy wife and Rarity want an obedient little pupper. These aspirations are forced to the point you wonder why the two of them are an item in the first place. Romance stories who’s conflict are the characters hating each other with the resolution of them kissing and making up in the end are by far the cheapest, dirtiest things in the world. To add on that, it completely fails to utilize the prompt in any creative manner, making this already dull story that much duller. None of the interactions carried any sincerity and every setup was predictable.
If you had plans to write a story out of pure spite then you might as well have gone full out and write a story where Rainbow Dash struggles to dispose of Rarity’s lifeless body after having strangled her to death in a fit of rage. At least that way you could’ve gotten a passing score for creativity.
Fic: The Experimental RariDash Crackfic
Author: Mystic Mind
Grade: F
Review: Every single joke in this are like nails on a chalk board. Rarity and Rainbow Dash serves no purpose to this story and could’ve been replaced by literally anyone. The narrator/Pinkie Pie is obnoxious to the point you want to bludgeon her to death and the story from beginning to end is nothing but meme characters stumbling around and bumping into each other. I was surprised you didn’t include a scene where Discord popped in and start twerking in front of the audience, all while promoting his fortnite centered twitch channel. There isn’t a single redeeming factor in this story… Everything is just nauseating.
This might have been a decent story if it was a straight faced drama, but with what I’ve seen from this story I kind of doubt your ability to write romance stories at all.
Fic: A Marvelous Day
Author: ModdieFox
Grade: F-
Review: This fanfic is a big empty template that someone put a raridash sticker onto. Any character could be switched out and it wouldn’t make a difference. There’s no story, no build-up and nothing in this carries any weight or consequence. Everything feels hollow and manufactured. A loveless, soulless entry.
This needed to be longer (less exposition, more anticipation) and the narration should’ve followed either Rarity’s or Rainbow’s internal monologue about the ups and downs in their relationship that eventually lead them to getting married. Big pay-offs like weddings aren’t satisfying if we don’t know the struggle.
Fic: Those Wedding Belle Rainbows
Author: Tangerine Blast
Grade: G
Review: I’m at a loss for words… This is a story that relies itself on the stupidity of its characters to push itself forward. Usually I don’t mind stupid characters if it’s there to make them cute, but in this fanfic it exist for no other reason than to create unnecessary conflicts. The lack of common sense makes every character insufferable and every action taken and every piece of dialogue spoken are annoying and borders on infuriating. The story has no direction and spirals itself into meandering filler. The author couldn’t even be bother to write an ending for this clustergack and instead he just copy&pastes a scene from Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean and calls it a day (no, I’m not joking).
I have nothing else to say other than this is the worst raridash fanfic I’ve ever read in my life. This isn’t your everyday kind of failure… This is advanced failure! This deserves a grade lower than F so I hereby award it with the special rating of G (standing for garbage). Kudos.
Disqualified entires:
Fic: Guiding Light
Author: Gesstalt
Grade: Disqualified (Doesn’t follow a prompt)
Review: This story tries way too hard to be poetic and mysterious, but due to its brief length it just comes off as unnecessary filler. It feels like someone opened up a book, ripped out a single page from it and presented it as a full story. Everything is vague and cryptic and you can’t make sense of anything. Elements are presented with the implications that they have greater meaning but it never amounts to anything and everything just feels pointless.
Fic: Love Eternal
Author: RDFan27
Grade: Disqualified (Doesn’t follow a prompt)
Review: In this story Rainbow Dash enters Rarity’s boutique and stands still. It’s a pretty ingenious concept, I gotta say! Think about it, Rainbow Dash likes sports so naturally she likes to move around, but because she likes Rarity so much she’s willing to go against her nature and stand still!! It’s the peak of romance!!!
Sarcasm aside, this fanfic fails to be creative at every turn. Stories with this premise have been written over 300+ times, going back as far as 2011. I didn’t like them back then and I don’t like them now. This story’s only redeeming factor is its ending which threw me into a laughing fit, though that wasn’t a feat of writing as much as it was timing.
🌟 Those were all the stories! 🌟
Thanks to everyone who participated, hope you all had fun! Sorry if you didn’t win, but not everybody have what it takes to be the best. I hope you found my critic helpful and that it’ll go a long way to help improve your future stories!
If you found some of these ratings were unfair, tough cookie! This is a contest and it’s not my job to hold your hand. If you don’t understand the mechanics of basic story telling or just can’t be bothered to write a sincere story, then you only have your own incompetence to blame. Get good or get bent, loser! 🎷
Let’s hear another round of applauses for @patchworkpoltergeist amazing story! 👏👏👏 Wooooo~
The description. And I didn’t even bother to read your whole comment. Too much of the word public. How long did it even take you to type that up anyway? Sheesh. It’s so friggin long.
Big fat ENORMUS OOF! (I wish I could change the size of my text)
@Background Pony #1986
I agree with this person. It is super mean. Plus, you posted all this rude garbage talk stuff in PUBLIC!!! You hear? PUB-A-LIC!!!
I agree. Instead of posting all that rude stuff in public.
Yeah. Why just say all that mean stuff in PUBLIC when you could just do this:
To me, I think the critics arn’t harsh. It‘s EXTREMELY HARSH!
@Background Pony #D89D
Nope. I thing raging on them is not at ALL well deserved. I don’t even think that’s kind! Cause it’s NOT. And even if the fanfic deserves to be ragged on, it should be done in private. Not public.
@Background Pony #D89D
Oh be quiet. Your just thinking negative stuff. And If you submit a bad fic to a contest, you should be told it’s bad but not in front of everyone on Derpibooru. It would be better in private rather than talking garbage about their fic in descriptions and comments and all that that can be seen in public.
@Post-it
Haha.
@Background Pony #B4D0
Not.
@PaintEdits
I agree. If someone said all that garbage to me, I would probably give up writing and typing stories.
FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE, IS THIS WHOLE CONTEST/“ACTIVITY” SUPPOSED TO BE POSITIVE, INFINITE TIMES BELOW NEGATIVE, OR WHAT??? LIKE SERIOUSLY!!! WHAT THE MOTHER FREAKING HECK???
And I’m sorry if I broke a rule or a few but SERIOUSLY!!! OH MY GOD!!!
Ok. I don’t know what’s longer. The positive and negative description/results or my comment.
link?
Well, congrats on being validated by a handful of updoots on reddit for your montage of out of context soundbites (and misleading info to make it sound more horrible and dramatic), I suppose.
Artist: Raridashdoodles
Grade: F-
Review: With the quick text slapped on top and nothing more to really show, the piece leaves a lot to be desired. From the supposed ‘title’ there’s little else to look at, especially since focus is drawn elsewhere almost instantly. The point of view is slightly skewed with the way some objects are angled while the paper seems to be a tad too perfect. Unsure of the point for random other utensils laying about when only the red marker is being used.
The plushies look okay, I guess. Though, they serve no real purpose for the overall image considering there’s hardly anything else pony related in it. There’s a lot to be desired and not much to really work with when giving the picture a glance. I almost even overlooked it myself. In short, it’s bad. Especially with the fact the two major colors used are brown and white. Seems like such a waste.
Not my job to hold your hand. If you don’t understand the basics of art or can’t be bothered to put out a good piece then “get good or get bent.”
Only seems fair, I think.Edited
Warranted. Writer was an obvious troll to begin with.
Okay, that’s totally fair. But I’m an editor and if a story is bad enough, there is simply nothing you can point at and say fix it.
I think most people are afraid to point out when an authour just doesn’t even know how to write, and if that authour actually cares about writing, then they need a hard knock before they’ll fundamentally change how they think about it.
Ya totally not harsh, very constructive and addresses specific problems.
He’s just being upfront and pointing out specific problems.
If you’re a writer then you’d understand exactly where he’s coming from.
You can criticize without crushing the confidence and passion of the writer is all I’m trying to say.
@Post-it
This. Pretty much all of Raridashdoodles’ art you could substitute with any characters, and it wouldn’t feel any less in character/“believable”.
Heck when they do stuff with dialogue it often is totally out of character, especially for Rarity.
Ah yes, because dressing up Rarity and Dash as medieval archetypes, Naruto characters, and Sailor Moon characters is totally creative. Most of the pictures raridashdoodles draws are just Rarity and Dash kissing in various costumes. Wow, how creative and original.
Interesting rebuke, but you’re aware that originality and creativity aren’t the same thing, right?
Coming from the guy who takes existing characters that dont belong to him and does the whole “token lesbian shipping” trope? yeah totally original and creative, my dude.
The prompts are just the images, should be the six uploaded here after the first writing contest image, if I remember correctly.
@PaintEdits
It’s harsh, yeah, but not unfair, I think. If you submit a bad fic to a contest you should be told it’s bad, even if bad is the best you can do. I can’t disagree with any of the reviews for the six stories I’ve already read, the flaws are there. The guy bankrolling the contest definitely earned their right to call a spade a spade. Beating around the bush because “what if they tried really hard” won’t do anyone any good, imo.
Is it smart to enter a contest if you can’t handle critique though? And how will a writer ever improve if their work is never critiqued?
Cool, but some may actually have tried their best. They may have been young, inexperienced and summed up a deal of confidence to spend their free time to create and submit this only to get shit on.
That’s just my opinion.
Does anyone actually have the prompt list still ? The original contest post was deleted and I was curious about the outlines !
It’s not meant to be Twilight’s critique, that’s what the first paragraph is about.
And have you read some of those stories? I did, and ragging on them is well deserved.