“Seriously though, if they were to exist, these would be some of the most uncomfortable, hard-to-sit-through holiday movies I have ever seen.
 
Even if you remove the wooden acting, the poor editing, the bad writing, the shoe-horned morals, the forced inspirational one-liners, the horrible unlikable characters, and a body count that rivals with that of a horror movie (seriously more people die in these movies than in ALIENS, how is that possible?), theyd still be the worst holiday movies I have ever encountered in my life.
 
But, of course, if they were real. Which they are not. I am denying these movies from existence.
 
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to look for a better, more cheerful movie for the season. I need to cleanse the palette after this.”