Joker: You look nervous… Is it the scars? You wanna know how I got ‘em? Come here, kid. Hey, look at me. So I had a daughter, the most beautiful little girl in the world, just like you. No matter how my day went, she always liked to make Daddy laugh. And I wanted everything for her, so I borrowed heavy from the loan sharks. When I couldn’t pay off in time, they took her. My beautiful little girl, and when they were done… She didn’t laugh any more. Just cried. So I wanted to show her that Daddy loved her, the, the scars didn’t matter. Used a razor and gave myself a big smile. Showed it to her and… SHE SCREAMED AT THE SIGHT OF ME! The courts took her away. And now? I get the joke. Now I’m always smiling.

“I’m gonna make this disappear.”
 
(THUD)
 
“TA-TA!”

joker: You look nervous…Is it the scars? You wanna know how I got ’em? Come here…hey…look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful…like you…who tells me, I worry too much, who tells me I oughta smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep…with the sharks. One day they carve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She can’t take it. I just wanna see her smile again…hmm. I just want her to know that I don’t care about the scars. So…I stick a razor in my mouth and do this…to myself. And you know what?…SHE CAN’T STAND THE SIGHT OF ME! She leaves…Now I see the funny side…Now i’m always smiling.

Joker: Ya wanna know how I got these scars?
 
Sunset: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Runs off
 
Joker: For the love of god, I was about to tell you how this story began with my father who was a race car driver!
 
|| A cookie to whoever gets the reference :) ||

@Roy-of-Asturia  
You win internet for the day.

@sumbozo  
Just make sure to the let another poor schmuck volunteer for it instead.
 
So… Any takers?  
 
Congrats! It’s your funera– Er, I mean “lucky day.”

Aw come on Sunset. He just wants to show you a little magic trick!