This is a commission for SirSirloin. Theres a super catchy new song making the rounds in Ponyville. Real earworm. Bet it was written by a real handsome guy.

In a very different Equestrian universe, a new music, fashion and societal sensation is sweeping the world, turning the population into glamorous living cartoons: the sexy, perpetually smoking Gals and the happy, horny Fellas who love ‘em! All of them sharply dressed, all of them hot to trot, all of them under Discord’s complete and total control.~

Rainbow Dash respects a good sax solo as much as anypony, but a song that turns nearby ponies into deranged lunatics (albeit smoking hot ones) isn’t anypony’s scene! She’ll find out how Discord’s doing this and…and stop him!…s-somehow…when she…when she…uh, what? Uh, y-yeah, give her a sec, this song is so…so…t-this is the really good part…

…

But now, a word from our sponsor! Are you a Fella without a Gal? Or vice versa? Too much versa, not enough vice? Then boy does Rainbow Dash (“Blah-blah-blah, hmm, oooh, call-me-Dashie, sweetie, bing-bang, mmm!~”) of Wonderthots and Elements of Sensuality fame have the place for you!

See, when Rainbow Dash caught the babeifying bug from Fluttershy, her cloud house got upgraded just like she did, the perfect place for the perfect new her. Some say the clouds it’s made out of are actually smoke from her own custom line of cigarettes, others that it’s, ah, leftovers from how many Fellas she’s taken up there.

Whatever the case, the house is now several times bigger and, of course, even larger on the inside because what’s a lil’ warped time ‘n’ space between friends? You could call it a hotel given how many floors and rooms it has (“As-many-as-ya-need-honey, ooooh, yeah!~”) but Dashie has absolutely no shame acknowledging it as a brothel. It’s named after its owner and her role: Madam Dashie’s.

The Element of Loyalty sees it as her civic duty to help all those unattached Fellas and Gals get together, even if it’s only for a night.

Buh-bye Rainbow Dash, hellllllooooooo nur, er, Madam Dashie! Discord’s loyal moll and brothel manager in the Gals & Fellas-verse. For detail, see here on FA. Less dynamic looking but better copy edited FimFiction version here. Art by atcpony2