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Champions of Equestria

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Description

This is a fan theory I created about a week or two ago and it’s gotten positive feedback so far. I’m ready for criticism.

safe2268696 edit180817 edited screencap95624 screencap302492 big macintosh34976 pinkie pie266000 rarity225914 toola-roola796 earth pony546307 pony1701344 unicorn582140 g311140 g3.51688 g42127596 analysis272 anatomy521 evolution240 granular jamming3 headcanon3256 hooves30143 paintbrush2388 painting5089 science1381 text96762 that explains everything28 theory505
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Greenjack
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

My behavior in this thread has weighed heavily on my conscience for the past five years. I am deeply sorry for how I behaved and have taken steps to change myself from who I was back then. I am sorry.
Midnight Moon
Equality - In our state, we do not stand out.
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!

Who Was This Guy Again?
You make a good point, however, there is a problem with your theory.
 
It is shown multiple times in the show that ponies use their hooves for fighting and hard labor. Applebucking is the most well known, but there’s also the fight with the Manticore (S1E02) and the Changelings (S2E26). Would your theory be correct, those activities would cause heavy bruising from concussive trauma, but we never see any sign of such a thing happening. That could be explained by the outer sole extending several inches past the inner sole, but that would most likely cause awkwardness when walking or gripping objects with their hooves. We already know that all ponies possess natural magic, ergo, the theory of contact telekinesis holds the most water in my honest opinion.
Background Pony #2C3D
Dear Mares and Gentlecolts.  
See this comment of mine as a barrier between the save happyplace to the deppest pits of flamewar and shitstorm. If you pass this barrier you probably will suffer the worst of it. Viewers descretion is advised!
TheLoneLampman
Nightmare in the Moon - Had their OC in the 2024 Derpibooru Collab.
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2017) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
Magnificent Metadata Maniac - #1 Assistant
Artist -

Special when lit
@Greenjack  
How about no.  
You’re just trying to get the last word in. Nobody is making you reply and you’re throwing fuel on the fire.
 
Now you’re telling the admins of the site that you are a guest on to not post comments?
 
Sorry pal, but you don’t make the rules and you sure as shit aren’t special enough to break them as you please.
 
Should’ve quit while you were ahead.
Greenjack
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@TheLoneLampman  
obviously you’re missing my point. he’s the one that’s continuing to respond, I don’t feel like treating him civilly in this specific discussion, so as long as he’s responding to me I’ll be responding back. telling me I’m “contributing” isn’t going to change shit because yes, I know that I’m contributing. honestly, it’s not harrassment when all he has to do is walk away to stop it. it’s not like I’m going to follow him, I’m just not going to “be excellent” to him when he acts holier than thou all the time yet can’t just ignore me when I’m trollin’ his ass.
 
by the way, I didn’t start out intending to dick around with him, I started out looking for someone that might actually enjoy a conversation on differing ideas that aren’t even really mutually exclusive, and I found some asshat that can’t accept defeat without begging for me to outright worship his fan theory when all he did was say “nuh uh, they totally can’t be instinctively using basic magic” over and over. I was willing to leave well enough alone before he came back and said “Actually, you’ve tried to invalidate mine to validate yours. The only way you’ve ever conceded was by giving previous generations the benefit of the doubt, but what you said about previous gens can’t add up because in gen 3 (the one Friendship is Magic took the most from) used the sticky hooves phenomenon way more often and perfectly. No matter how you slice it, you’ve kept the pressure on and somehow manage to act as if you’ve given me any credit that matters at all.”
 
that’s him saying “you can’t possibly have just been providing a differing theory, and “trying to invalidate mine to validate yours” (which was not my intent, I was merely pointing out flaws in his own theory and providing an ability, which is just as valid in a world where magical abilities are commonplace, that would easily compensate for the flaws in his theory. my last comment before going off on him was a concession that he’s provided enough evidence for his theory not to be complete bullshit, and that I now feel that it’s a combination of both, and he comes back with yet another “nuh uh”. I don’t care about “rules” against calling an asshole an asshole. did I go a bit overboard? yes, yes I did, and I had, and still have, many EXTREMELY GOOD reasons to be pissed off right now, not necessarily at him or even you, but in general. I’m obviously not in a good mood, so why do you and he keep coming back and talking to me about this bullshit? I WANT to leave this thread behind, but a big part of me draws tons of pleasure out of treating someone like shit, and congratulations, whimsey’s the first person in over a decade to draw my dark side to the surface, and it’s gotten ever so hungry for chaos and in-fighting.
 
if you want me to go back to being my docile self, which I still am on every other thread I’ve been on lately, you and whimsey, and carcer will all just stop talking to me on this thread.
 
if you want to continue to explore the living manifestation of my festering wrath fear and envy, then by all means continue talking to me in this specific headcanon post. it has officially been claimed by my dark side as its new home.
TheLoneLampman
Nightmare in the Moon - Had their OC in the 2024 Derpibooru Collab.
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2017) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
Magnificent Metadata Maniac - #1 Assistant
Artist -

Special when lit
@Greenjack  
It takes two to tango so leave him the hell alone and don’t reply. I don’t give a single shit who it is, you don’t harass people just because you think they deserve it.
 
READ OUR RULES AND FOLLOW THEM.
Greenjack
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@TheLoneLampman  
also, it takes a very specific kind of personality for me to actively hate you, so no real worries for me getting into it with anyone else on this site. other than with this arrogant douche I’m normally a rather agreeable guy that leaves well enough alone, this guy’s just that special combination of fun to yell at and too stupid to stop coming back for more when I give him a very simple solution to not having to deal with me anymore (I.E. stop talking to me) if you want the real shit stirrer look closer at him, because obviously he likes being yelled at, and I sometimes need someone or something to yell at. it’s a win-win situation.
TheLoneLampman
Nightmare in the Moon - Had their OC in the 2024 Derpibooru Collab.
Elements of Harmony - Had an OC in the 2022 Community Collab
Twinkling Balloon - Took part in the 2021 community collab.
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2019) - Celebrated Derpibooru's seventh year anniversary with friends.
A Tale For The Ages - Celebrated MLP's 35th Anniversary and FiM's 8th Anniversary
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2018) - Celebrated Derpibooru's six year anniversary with friends.
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
Friendship, Art, and Magic (2017) - Celebrated Derpibooru's five year anniversary with friends.
Magnificent Metadata Maniac - #1 Assistant
Artist -

Special when lit
@Greenjack  
Oh hey, look at what I found on our rule page:
 
#0 Be excellent to each other
 
This is the most important rule.
 
MLP:FiM is about sharing, friendship, and understanding. Don’t drag the site down into flamewars and angst - keep it constructive and positive.
Greenjack
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@TheLoneLampman  
I only take my shit out on people I don’t like. I don’t like him, I told him to leave me alone or else I will continue my taunts, he’s still here, so obviously he likes it on some level.
Greenjack
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@Whimsey  
heh, like I give a shit what you think. obviously I don’t like you, so why would I treat you with any respect when you continue to beg for me to stroke your ego.
Whimsey

@Greenjack  
I think you have the wrong idea of me in general. I also didn’t put the hole in your roof. I don’t deserve to have anything vented out on me. I am not your punching bag. Stop trying to continue drama. You won’t successfully justify yourself.
Greenjack
Not a Llama - Happy April Fools Day!
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@Carcer  
well, having an average of three people to talk to for nearly a decade might be the cause of me not liking when someone goes gloating in my face. taking into consideration that I also found out that my house now has a hole in the roof about ten minutes before that comment then, yeah, I was pissed and needed to vent and am currently unable to do so irl.
Whimsey

@Niggoslav_Krawczyk  
I forgot how much My Little Pony is like houyhnhnms, actually. It would also make sense how the frog would evolve into basically a sucker. The weird indented shape My Little Pony hooves have would make a lot of sense in that theory.
Carcer
Bronze Bit -
Happy Derpy! -
A Perfectly Normal Pony - <Carcer> "Officer, unless I threatened to **** him in the ass, I don't believe I could have reasonably expected him to stop using my website."
Since the Beginning  - Posted the very first image. Indexes start at zero!

Inexplicably in power
@Greenjack  
Yes, because no matter how passionately you feel about hooves your behaviour was out of line. I could have banned you for a couple of days to go calm down, but I’m hoping I don’t need to.
 
If you get into an argument where you feel you’re just butting your head against a wall, flipping your shit and spewing insults is only going to make you look crazy. Just walk away and ignore them.
Niggoslav_Krawczyk
Duck - Niggoslav_Kwaczyk
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
A Perfectly Normal Pony - Drinky_Butt
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

#ChanYe2028
Oh, speaking of limited range…Similar to Mr Horse from Ren&Stimpy and the ones on Family Guy, they are forced by bone design to kind of look perpetually limp-wristed.
Niggoslav_Krawczyk
Duck - Niggoslav_Kwaczyk
Solar Supporter - Fought against the New Lunar Republic rebellion on the side of the Solar Deity (April Fools 2023).
A Perfectly Normal Pony - Drinky_Butt
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

#ChanYe2028
@Whimsey  
Both work actually. This whole theory was basically used to explain the houyhnhnms of Gulliver’s Travels. They’re intelligent talking horses (not unlike G1) but they’re closer to mustangs than ponies/clydesdales (long thin reedy legs meant more for running than manipulation, and less range of motion), with their own little society with rough buildings and cooking pots and simple tools. They would probably be the ‘cave man’ relative of G1 ponies if they were ever incorporated into the show. (they have a range of movement similar to real horses with all the flaws that entails) They held objects by squeezing the frog together, kinda like having no fingers so needing to pick things up by the palm only. Putting full pressure forth hardened the entire hoof, much like bunching up your fist to make a punch. Now, while how they work is only explained to use through Gulliver’s observations, it’s reasonable to think this theory isn’t quite so exaggerated as his others, he probably sat under a tree picking up rocks and testing his theory of their hoof motions right there.  
So, if considered sequentially, by FiM ponies have evolved to being able to utilise them like octopi suckers (or like wearing thumbless mittens), having more agility and becoming more malleable due to generations of practice, yet still retaining that bone- like outer structure for whacking things safely and running fast. The houyhnhnms would be similar to crude versions of that image of Toola up there.