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Description
By far the oldest of races in Equestria - their society had been stabilized for a thousand years in the time of humans - the Houyhnhmn are also the most mysterious, being the closest living relatives to the ancient pony forebears known as horses. This mystery is, of course, no result of laziness on the part of scholars; it is simply that, up until very recently, the Houyhnhmn abjectly refused any contact with the outside world. The Houyhnhmn leadership declared on numerous occasions that any connection with modern day ponies would introduce an “unstable element” to their society, and perhaps lead younger, more impressionable Houyhnhmn to stray from the concept of pure reason for baser ideas such as passion or recklessness. This precedent was set during the time of humans, in the only known addendum to their existing law, an addendum known as the Gulliver Decree.
Virtually identical to ancient horses in all respects save intellect, the Houyhnhmn are an austere people by all standards, with only simple straw houses and no personal possessions save for what is utilized in communal activities, such as agriculture and lawmaking. Indeed, even these communal activities tend not to have much fanfare, as each Houyhnhmn takes part in their assigned task, performs it to the required degree, and then leave without further dalliance on the tasks.
Any time not spent on the communal maintenance is dedicated to philosophical discussion - a fact which puzzles most Equestrian scholars as Houyhnhmn have secluded themselves from any outside knowledge or influence to create grounds for such debate - or artistic endeavors, which amount to observing the natural world around the Houyhnhmn and copying what is seen.
Houyhnhmn law appears to be a largely redundant concept; the laws exist - being mostly concerned with maintaining cleanliness, order, and rational thought - but no lawbreakers have ever been seen. The Houyhnhmn have rudimentary jails for lawbreakers, but these seem to not have been used for centuries. In fact, the lower levels of the jail have been put under lock and key, with nopony allowed to enter or leave. Oddly, tracks continue to lead in and out of that part of the prison, although only half of them seem to lead out of it.
What is perhaps most interesting about the Houyhnhmn is that, by all measures, they seem to be the examples of physical and mental perfection. There is never any sickness in Houyhnhmn society, all individuals are of sound mind and body, and their cultural interaction has no degree of strife or conflict. Indeed, any mention of troublemakers or physically frail Houyhnhmn either elicits confusion, or some vague reference to something known as a “bone pit” which is not elaborated on.
On the topic of vague references, a continual mystery has been brought up in the latest interactions with the Houyhnhmn: the Yahoo, a being that appears to have been their primary force of pack animal. It is not known what became of the Yahoo, or what lead to their extinction, but it IS known that they were at least bipedal, lived in small holes in the Earth, and had very little in the way of lifespan. In any event, they must have been venerated, as me and my party have been called Yahoos during our time here. Indeed, the Houyhnhmn leadership has decreed that all ponies in their land are to be treated as Yahoos, and that they will personally carry this treatment of ponies to Canterlot, where they will establish a diplomatic station.
Suffice it to say, I am thrilled that this expedition has gone so well! We may even be invited as honored Yahoo guests to the feast tonight!
-Last known log entry of Professor G.I. Ngersnap, Esq., prior to his party’s disappearance in Houyhnhmn territory.
Virtually identical to ancient horses in all respects save intellect, the Houyhnhmn are an austere people by all standards, with only simple straw houses and no personal possessions save for what is utilized in communal activities, such as agriculture and lawmaking. Indeed, even these communal activities tend not to have much fanfare, as each Houyhnhmn takes part in their assigned task, performs it to the required degree, and then leave without further dalliance on the tasks.
Any time not spent on the communal maintenance is dedicated to philosophical discussion - a fact which puzzles most Equestrian scholars as Houyhnhmn have secluded themselves from any outside knowledge or influence to create grounds for such debate - or artistic endeavors, which amount to observing the natural world around the Houyhnhmn and copying what is seen.
Houyhnhmn law appears to be a largely redundant concept; the laws exist - being mostly concerned with maintaining cleanliness, order, and rational thought - but no lawbreakers have ever been seen. The Houyhnhmn have rudimentary jails for lawbreakers, but these seem to not have been used for centuries. In fact, the lower levels of the jail have been put under lock and key, with nopony allowed to enter or leave. Oddly, tracks continue to lead in and out of that part of the prison, although only half of them seem to lead out of it.
What is perhaps most interesting about the Houyhnhmn is that, by all measures, they seem to be the examples of physical and mental perfection. There is never any sickness in Houyhnhmn society, all individuals are of sound mind and body, and their cultural interaction has no degree of strife or conflict. Indeed, any mention of troublemakers or physically frail Houyhnhmn either elicits confusion, or some vague reference to something known as a “bone pit” which is not elaborated on.
On the topic of vague references, a continual mystery has been brought up in the latest interactions with the Houyhnhmn: the Yahoo, a being that appears to have been their primary force of pack animal. It is not known what became of the Yahoo, or what lead to their extinction, but it IS known that they were at least bipedal, lived in small holes in the Earth, and had very little in the way of lifespan. In any event, they must have been venerated, as me and my party have been called Yahoos during our time here. Indeed, the Houyhnhmn leadership has decreed that all ponies in their land are to be treated as Yahoos, and that they will personally carry this treatment of ponies to Canterlot, where they will establish a diplomatic station.
Suffice it to say, I am thrilled that this expedition has gone so well! We may even be invited as honored Yahoo guests to the feast tonight!
-Last known log entry of Professor G.I. Ngersnap, Esq., prior to his party’s disappearance in Houyhnhmn territory.
Source
not provided yet
Believe what you wish. If calling it “trolling” eases your mind, then fine. Have fun.
Yep, trolling.
Not dissimilar at all. One post claims dragons are smarter than all of ponykind, the other claims that dragons are idiots.
Ahem.
““considering what big idiots most of the dragons in Equestria are, I’m not terribly inclined to believe they’d see through anything[](#comment_5231b006a4c72dfc6400642d)
That’s not exactly the same thing as saying they wouldn’t “see right through the rhetorical capabilities of a race who’s near perfect at it”. In fact, it’s so dissimilar that I can only conclude that you didn’t bother reading the comment I replied to, or that you’re just trolling.
You mean like claiming they’d see right through the rhetorical capabilities of a race who’s near perfect at it? Like that kind of conclusion?
And how many dragons have we seen so far? Two adults, whose respective homes had been invaded by intruders; a handful of typical teenage hooligans; and Spike, who seems to be a fairly precocious kid. I wouldn’t want to try to draw any conclusions from that sampling.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but- considering what big idiots most of the dragons in Equestria are, I’m not terribly inclined to believe they’d see through anything
The Conversion Bureau universe is a set of pony fanfiction with a large following (and even larger hatedom) primarily found on FIMfiction, with the premise being the “dimension” Equestria is on has begun to encroach upon our (Earth’s) own. An expanding magical barrier which separates the worlds is slowly devouring Earth, but humans can’t survive on the other side unless they take a serum which “converts” them into ponies, a process which effectively lobotomizes them of their free will and nature.
Basically it started as an excuse to justify a self-insert HiE fiction, but was quickly seized upon by a set of authors to spread their anti-human propaganda. When I first encountered their writings on FIMfiction last year, I was struck by how similar their (completely honest) screed resembled the insane ravings of Gulliver at the end of the book: advocating the only chance of salvation we degenerate Yahoos have is to completely abandon our humanity and embrace the cool ration (or in their case - as they interpret FIM - mindless, bubbly happiness) of the Houyhnhnm (pony), lest we face extermination at their hooves.
It was that similarity between the attitudes of the authors and the fictional Gulliver which convinced me to reread Swift’s masterpiece, and while it has no shortage of misanthropy (hell, it can taken as a veritable bible of mankind’s treachery) it satirizes everything (unlike the CB which is a one sided hatefest), the “superior” cultures of the subject lands as well: the society of the Houyhnhnm with their devotion to pure reason at the expense of all emotion, morality, and loyalty to kin hardly seems the ideal alternate to our own.
Of course the biggest dupe in the story is Gulliver himself: simultaneously proud and sycophantic, receptive and eager to assimilate with other cultures yet arrogantly confident of his English superiority, knowledgeable in a wide array of subjects yet foolish and lacking in sense, gullible, and in the end a complete lunatic… certainly one of the most unreliable narrators in English literature. Your idea about sending him to Ponyville (as a human or pony), perhaps after feeling from his “exile” in England and getting lost during the attempt to return to Houyhnhnm land, would be a delight to read.
Anyways I love the idea of a Gulliver’s Travels crossover and encourage you to continue with it OP. You can count me among the numbers of your audience when it is published.
I just brought Gulliver’s Travels into Equestria and THAT’S your stickling point? XD
In any case, technically, dusk rises with the sun prior to dawn, although the sun and moon technically don’t rise at all.
Fair point, that. XD
That’s exactly my point, actually… they can reason with the ponies, but there are beings that are older than their entire race, like Discord or the dragons, that will see through their load of bull (and not like it one bit), and other creatures that will simply see them as snacks (try persuading a manticore that you aren’t lunch, see how well it goes…). The ponies, despite their loving hearts, are fighters: they tamed what is basically the D&D Monster Manual turned into a landscape. The Houyhnhmn are philosophers and rhetorical experts. And that only works inside of Canterlot and other big cities. Outside? Not so much.
And if they persuade the higher-ups (‘cept for Celestia, she probably already knows every single trick in their book, given her age) that could mean a civil war. And remember, Equestria isn’t like Earth: on Earth. a civil war means deaths; in Equestria, a civil war means the Windigos. Try to reason yourselves out of an ice age, horsies…
That’s the thing, though. They’re not just smart horses, they’re BRILLIANT horses, who have had possible thousands of years to perfect the concepts of discourse and reason to be able to perfectly outline the logical flaws in any opposing argument. They have done almost nothing BUT practice this skill, and have reached the point where they could talk down and convince just about anyone of their goals and ideals. Combine this with a nonthreatening nature, and they could easily worm their way into the minds of anyone in Equestria, and eliminate any real opposition by convincing the powerful and weak-minded of their beliefs. And that’s what makes them so dangerous. The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled is convincing the world he didn’t exist, after all.
Creatures like, say, the Timberwolves (you can take them down, but they DON’T stay down), the changelings (they could be anyone), the Hydras (immense behemoths) or worse. The Earth Ponies can fight them through Earth Strength, the Pegasi can fly away, and the Unicorns can defend with magic. The Houyhnhmn? They’re just smart horses.
That, of course, is the least of their worries… the BIGGEST problem goes by one single, unique name: Discord. The big snake may be nicer now, but that’s the exact problem… the very moment the Houyhnhmn let slip how they see the ponies, they’re toast. Literally, knowing him.
TL;DR
You don’t go wandering into Chaos Central and expect no resistance. Either the Houyhnhmn plan for that, or they’re gonna be just a big red smear on the road.
Hey man, if you thought that pony society was made up of a bunch of irrational crapslingers in pony skins you’d keep far away too! The only reason we haven’t found them is that they don’t wanna be found! WAKE UP, SHETLANDS! DX
Oh, I’d be all up for incorporating the first three stories into this, perhaps using the writings of Gulliver - in many ways the first Brony - as a guide that Twilight Sparkle and crew follow to stretch their legs a bit. I’d be especially interested in Twilight studying the pure awesome of a magnet city, or Fluttershy as the gentle giant of Lilliput.
Also, as this is the first time I’ve heard of the Conversion-verse, consider myself intrigued. Especially since the Ponies of MLPFIM tend to lean towards anthropomorphization anyway, so it’d be fun to see that in terms of part four.
Also, ponified Gulliver. Poor dumb bastard probably wouldn’t realize how humanlike Ponyville is until he showed up. XD
Houyhnhmn’s never existed you. Do you think anyone could keep this that well covered up?
Poppycock!
It is possible to make a connection between the rational Houyhnhms of the Fourth Part and magic talking ponies (as this guy set it up, distant ancestors), and see Lemuel Gulliver as a sort of psuedo rabid brony. The extreme misanthropy of the final act lends itself better to the Conversion Bureau fanfiction universe in my opinion, not to sully Swift’s name at all with the comparison as he was both an exceptional author and keen satirist.
OP presents an interesting idea though and if there is more to the story I’d be quite eager to continue reading, as Gulliver’s Travels is one of my favorite books.
An inversion of the ideas he had, but basically right. XD
Long story short, Gulliver’s Travels x MLPFIM crossover with the horses at the end as the main antagonists. Also Gulliver as Heimskr.
I just don’t really know how to respond to… whatever it is you wrote.
YOU TOLERATE ME! YOU REALLY REALLY TOLERATE ME! T_T d