Macaronon 
Darkest I am so sorry you feel so down and out at this time, I wish I could help you but I do not know how, all I can hope to do is remind you that all your art and your conversations here and on Discord have made so many people happy, we love your art and we love you as a person, you are wonderful, we want you to stay and keep doing what makes you happy: Drawing Luna. I wish I could do more for you and I hope you feel better soon.