Because I’d probably be the recurring pathetic miniboss who comes back as a last, challenging battle in the final act.
Also, nopony, because no pony likes me.
Gatito doesn’t seem like a threat at first, but once I get killed, Soarin joins the good guys, and Gatito goes Lawful Evil, omnicidal. Like “the only way peace can exist is if I consume everything!” Kind of evil.
I would be that one boss for only Unicorn characters, but fairly average for the stage in the game for other players.
Also, I have no song or pony because I’m that one boss that’s so irrelevant to the story, it would be insulting to reward you for beating me.
“Before you faced Gods, now you face a Titan, now you face a God Eater! And right now I am famished, lucky for me you are a God yourself. LET THE FEAST BEGIN!”
Oh, and I’m one of those bosses that require zero effort but you’d have to keep me alive in order to hear the song play because it’s the only place in the game that it plays.