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[bSecond q]uarter:
 

> And in short order the existing Prince-Bishop was killed, everyone in the realm hating him for being a different religion. Glitterhoof immediately became the new Prince-Bishop, bypassing the restrictions Paradox placed on him. As you can see, Glitterhoof already had 8 courtiers- but those are the ones spawned in by his predecessor. Since all of them are Norse, I removed them from his court by inviting them to mine- and after this, I granted him independence. If you don’t do this, when he spawns in his own courtiers they have a 50/50 chance of being horses or your own culture- and since there’s then a 50/50 chance of them being useful male horses or useless females, it’s a good idea to maximise the chances of getting a male horse by giving him independence first. Finally, remember that you can only grant someone independence if they aren't a de-jure vassal- so make sure you grant him a bishopric outside your de-jure territories.


>
> In short order the independent Glitterhoof spawns in some horses to replace the courtiers I invited to my own court. Fortunately, one of these was a male by the name of Clever Hans…


>
> …and fortunately, he was willing to join my own court. It should always be possible to get at least one male horse to agree to this, especially if you give him some gold, but if not then you’ll have to re-vassalise Glitterhoof- pressing a de-jure claim being the best way. You can grant landed titles to any male character within your realm, even if they’re in the court of one of your vassals, so by re-vassalising Glitterhoof you’ll be able to give land to any horse he’s spawned in.


>
> While this was going on I briefly moved my capital from Nantes to Navarra before moving it on again to Marrakech, using the decision to culture-switch to the culture of your capital to change to Basque in the process. This turned out to be a mistake. The original idea was to use it to switch to Absolute Cognatic succession, but I ended up going for Elective instead- which in turn lets you elect females, making Absolute Cognatic pointless.


>
> The next step was to land Clever Hans. Since I didn’t want to give up my own demesne, I demanded that the three counts ruling over Tangier give up their lands to be replaced by a horse. Surprisingly, they refused.


>
> Despite this they were quickly put down, their lands being stripped away along with the castles, towns and churches of their own vassals. In their place Clever Hans was declared Duke of Tangier. You’ll notice that his surname is Smith- unfortunately, horses only have a limited selection of first names and only one surname. Considering that only Glitterhoof is ever supposed to appear, even having that many is kind of surprising.


>
> Clever Hans quickly spawned in courtiers of his own, one of them being a mare by the name of Buttermilk. I quickly married her to Hæsteinn’s eldest son, Prince Ragnarr, in the world’s first inter-species marriage. His face says it all. No doubt horseplay soon followed!


>
> Although he was completely irrelevant by this point, the independent Glitterhoof made me proud by joining a fight against the Umayyads. He certainly was one brave horse.


>
> Back in Mauretania, I changed the succession law to elective. Since only Dukes can vote, and a Kings vote means more than a Duke, the only two electors were myself and Clever Hans and my vote took priority. I quickly nominated Ragnarr while he nominated himself, placing Ragnarr as the heir. Interestingly, being a Catholic in control of Mauretania makes your realm a ‘Crusader Kingdom’.


>
> Upset by Hæsteinn’s eccentric behaviour, the Grand Mayor of Venice decided to try and rebel. To make an example of such neighsayers, Hæsteinn quickly sailed to put down this rebellion.


>
> On his defeat, the Grand Mayor was stripped of all his lands- as were all the patricians of the Republic. A horse named Cincinnati, spawned into Clever Han’s court, was installed to replace him while more horses took over the various manors of the other patricians.


>
> Back in Mauretania, I started revoking titles from all the Germanic vassals I’d originally given them to, having pushed through the council law that allows free revocation of titles from heretics and heathens. In their place I installed horses spawned in the courts of my existing horse vassals.


>
> By 890 this was completely done, as shown here by one of the greatest councils I’ve ever had. Every ruler from the barony level up was replaced by a horse, including those in southern Italy and Sardinia. Unfortunately, I soon discovered that when non-merchant republic city and regular bishop vassals die they get replaced by randomly generated courtiers of your own culture, so while I was still a regular human they started creeping back in to the realm. Thankfully, all count-tier and above rulers remained horses.


>
> Unfortunately, and only after waging a war against the Umayyads that conquered Tlemcen, three years later Hæsteinn finally died at 70. He did well.


>
> Ragnarr succeeded him- not a terrible ruler, but one who didn’t even compare to his father. I selected the Seduction focus for fun, since there wasn’t any real need to boost his stats.


>
> In short order he finally impregnated Buttermilk after many years of trying- paving the way for the first mixed-species baby to be born!


>
> Meanwhile he tried chasing after other horses. Unfortunately, none of his targets were interested in horsing around with him.


>
> Without Hæsteinn, holding together his empire quickly became impossible. Independence revolts began to take place, while the Duke of Tuscany attacked Rome and successfully conquered it. (Unfortunately, I somehow failed to take many screenshots of this entire stretch of time, so I can’t actually show that happening.) Only through Byzantine support were most of these revolts put down.


>
> In 894 the first child was born to Ragnarr and Buttermilk- a human. There aren’t any child portraits for horses, meaning that they show up as the standard Western European child- but since Ragnarr has a Norse portrait, if the child also has that look then they’re a human.


>
> Two years later a second daughter was born- and this time, a horse. Being certain that he’d never have to post a screenshot of her restoring the Roman Empire on the internet, Ragnarr named her Rainbow Dash.


>
> [...]


>
> Quickly growing up, Rainbow Dash was given an education focused on military skill. I chose whatever childhood focus gives a good chance of the ‘Rowdy’ and ‘Wilful’ traits, then the military focused education once she hit her twelfth birthday.


>
> Although I’m still learning the new education system, the outcome was good- level three martial education, kind, diligent and ambitious for pretty good stats all around. Even more importantly she finally got a proper portrait. By this point though I was having a lot of trouble with rebels, while retaking Rome was made almost impossible when the Duke of Tuscany restored it to the Pope. Even worse, Ragnarr died of illness at some point, Ale becoming the new King. To stop outsiders taking advantage of my weakness, I dealt with the last rebellions as quickly as I could and then swore fealty to the Byzantines.


>
> With this done I decided that Ale’s short and uneventful reign needed to come to an end- and since he fortunately had the ‘Depressed’ trait already, I simply made him commit suicide. Long live Queen Rainbow Dash!
[/bq]
>

[bq]And in short order the existing Prince-Bishop was killed, everyone in the realm hating him for being a different religion. Glitterhoof immediately became the new Prince-Bishop, bypassing the restrictions Paradox placed on him. As you can see, Glitterhoof already had 8 courtiers- but those are the ones spawned in by his predecessor. Since all of them are Norse, I removed them from his court by inviting them to mine- and after this, I granted him independence. If you don’t do this, when he spawns in his own courtiers they have a 50/50 chance of being horses or your own culture- and since there’s then a 50/50 chance of them being useful male horses or useless females, it’s a good idea to maximise the chances of getting a male horse by giving him independence first. Finally, remember that you can only grant someone independence if they aren't a de-jure vassal- so make sure you grant him a bishopric outside your de-jure territories.

In short order the independent Glitterhoof spawns in some horses to replace the courtiers I invited to my own court. Fortunately, one of these was a male by the name of Clever Hans…

…and fortunately, he was willing to join my own court. It should always be possible to get at least one male horse to agree to this, especially if you give him some gold, but if not then you’ll have to re-vassalise Glitterhoof- pressing a de-jure claim being the best way. You can grant landed titles to any male character within your realm, even if they’re in the court of one of your vassals, so by re-vassalising Glitterhoof you’ll be able to give land to any horse he’s spawned in.

While this was going on I briefly moved my capital from Nantes to Navarra before moving it on again to Marrakech, using the decision to culture-switch to the culture of your capital to change to Basque in the process. This turned out to be a mistake. The original idea was to use it to switch to Absolute Cognatic succession, but I ended up going for Elective instead- which in turn lets you elect females, making Absolute Cognatic pointless.

The next step was to land Clever Hans. Since I didn’t want to give up my own demesne, I demanded that the three counts ruling over Tangier give up their lands to be replaced by a horse. Surprisingly, they refused.

Despite this they were quickly put down, their lands being stripped away along with the castles, towns and churches of their own vassals. In their place Clever Hans was declared Duke of Tangier. You’ll notice that his surname is Smith- unfortunately, horses only have a limited selection of first names and only one surname. Considering that only Glitterhoof is ever supposed to appear, even having that many is kind of surprising.

Clever Hans quickly spawned in courtiers of his own, one of them being a mare by the name of Buttermilk. I quickly married her to Hæsteinn’s eldest son, Prince Ragnarr, in the world’s first inter-species marriage. His face says it all. No doubt horseplay soon followed!

Although he was completely irrelevant by this point, the independent Glitterhoof made me proud by joining a fight against the Umayyads. He certainly was one brave horse.

Back in Mauretania, I changed the succession law to elective. Since only Dukes can vote, and a Kings vote means more than a Duke, the only two electors were myself and Clever Hans and my vote took priority. I quickly nominated Ragnarr while he nominated himself, placing Ragnarr as the heir. Interestingly, being a Catholic in control of Mauretania makes your realm a ‘Crusader Kingdom’.

Upset by Hæsteinn’s eccentric behaviour, the Grand Mayor of Venice decided to try and rebel. To make an example of such neighsayers, Hæsteinn quickly sailed to put down this rebellion.

On his defeat, the Grand Mayor was stripped of all his lands- as were all the patricians of the Republic. A horse named Cincinnati, spawned into Clever Han’s court, was installed to replace him while more horses took over the various manors of the other patricians.

Back in Mauretania, I started revoking titles from all the Germanic vassals I’d originally given them to, having pushed through the council law that allows free revocation of titles from heretics and heathens. In their place I installed horses spawned in the courts of my existing horse vassals.

By 890 this was completely done, as shown here by one of the greatest councils I’ve ever had. Every ruler from the barony level up was replaced by a horse, including those in southern Italy and Sardinia. Unfortunately, I soon discovered that when non-merchant republic city and regular bishop vassals die they get replaced by randomly generated courtiers of your own culture, so while I was still a regular human they started creeping back in to the realm. Thankfully, all count-tier and above rulers remained horses.

Unfortunately, and only after waging a war against the Umayyads that conquered Tlemcen, three years later Hæsteinn finally died at 70. He did well.

Ragnarr succeeded him- not a terrible ruler, but one who didn’t even compare to his father. I selected the Seduction focus for fun, since there wasn’t any real need to boost his stats.

In short order he finally impregnated Buttermilk after many years of trying- paving the way for the first mixed-species baby to be born!

Meanwhile he tried chasing after other horses. Unfortunately, none of his targets were interested in horsing around with him.

Without Hæsteinn, holding together his empire quickly became impossible. Independence revolts began to take place, while the Duke of Tuscany attacked Rome and successfully conquered it. (Unfortunately, I somehow failed to take many screenshots of this entire stretch of time, so I can’t actually show that happening.) Only through Byzantine support were most of these revolts put down.

In 894 the first child was born to Ragnarr and Buttermilk- a human. There aren’t any child portraits for horses, meaning that they show up as the standard Western European child- but since Ragnarr has a Norse portrait, if the child also has that look then they’re a human.

Two years later a second daughter was born- and this time, a horse. Being certain that he’d never have to post a screenshot of her restoring the Roman Empire on the internet, Ragnarr named her Rainbow Dash.

[...]

Quickly growing up, Rainbow Dash was given an education focused on military skill. I chose whatever childhood focus gives a good chance of the ‘Rowdy’ and ‘Wilful’ traits, then the military focused education once she hit her twelfth birthday.

Although I’m still learning the new education system, the outcome was good- level three martial education, kind, diligent and ambitious for pretty good stats all around. Even more importantly she finally got a proper portrait. By this point though I was having a lot of trouble with rebels, while retaking Rome was made almost impossible when the Duke of Tuscany restored it to the Pope. Even worse, Ragnarr died of illness at some point, Ale becoming the new King. To stop outsiders taking advantage of my weakness, I dealt with the last rebellions as quickly as I could and then swore fealty to the Byzantines.

With this done I decided that Ale’s short and uneventful reign needed to come to an end- and since he fortunately had the ‘Depressed’ trait already, I simply made him commit suicide. Long live Queen Rainbow Dash!
[/bq]