Nobody but yourself can tell you that… explore your mind and soon you’ll have a revelation… I meditate a lot and I’ve found that everything I thought I wanted was just to take my mind off what I really wanted… a purpose to this world. Now I’m going to be joining the military. It’ll give me purpose and direction and courage! I’m starting to really find myself. :) meditate… spend time with yourself! You’ve invested so much time in other things, you don’t even know who you are anymore! Spend time with yourself. It’ll work out sooner or later.