…Authorities are calling it the worst train derailment since Princess Cadance’s crystal locomotive smashed it’s way through all regularly scheduled trains in a surprise visit to Ponyville. Latest estimates put the estimated death toll at 100 with almost 500 admitted to Ponyville General with serious injuries, and 200 missing…

…another zeppelin explosion over Canterlot has ponies outraged and demanding reforms to Equestria’s public transit. Princess Celestia was quoted “Oh the Equinity!” but refused to comment on whether the issue would be addressed…

The citizens of Hoofinton were outraged earlier this week to find yet another ancient evil had escaped and wreaked havoc on the innocent populace. “I kept telling them. Those ancient demon seals don’t last forever, but there was no money in the budget to replace them!” said Loopy Locks, the engineer in charge of Equestria’s gallery of sealed ancient evils. “They just keep building up and building up and we just don’t have the money to properly maintain them.” The ancient demon, Baron Von Bludgeon, is still at large and could not be reached for comment.

…Several citizens of Los Pegasus were found in a state of near-death and had to be rushed to St. Trots Hospital. The four were all suffering from 3rd degree belly rubs and ear scratches, leaving the local public in a state of panic. Could this be the work of a rogue Brony? The royal guard are urging citizens not to jump to conclusions…

EXTRA! PRINCESS LUNA IN YOUR DREAMS! HELPING YOU FIGHT YOUR DEEPEST FEARS OR AN INVASION OF PRIVACY? CONTINUED ON A6…