Page 347 - E2: Roleplay Regrets

Author: Nolan Benson (l3f4y)

Guest Author’s Note: “On-the-fly house rules are a great way to keep the game going: barbarian wants an animal companion? Sure, everyone else has one! Unfortunately, they get harder and harder to keep track of the longer a game goes on. That’s why I run my games like Calvinball: the only permanent rule is that you can never play the same way twice. Of course, this leads to a lot of awkward explanations when all the party supplies suddenly go stale in their bags of holding and the evil cleric they were fighting grows wings and gains all their spells back.”

DM: What’s your character, Rod?
Rainbow: Uh. Rainbow…Dash? Pegasus barbarian. But hold on, if they both get pets, I want one too!
DM: Barbarians don’t get an animal companion at all.
Rainbow: I know, I know. I just want a sidekick. Even the NPCs have pets. I mean, the wizard has two!
DM: One of them is her familiar, and –
Rainbow: And what does a bard need with a tiny alligator, anyway?
Applejack: Comedic effect?
Rainbow: Look, just – where’s the Monster Manual?
DM: Uh, here. You know, since everyone else has one, I’ll rule that you get a companion, but can we at least fit it into the game so we can get started?
Rainbow: What do you mean?
DM: Well…let’s say the druid offers to help you look for a pet at her house.
Applejack: What do we do?
Rarity: Shh! He’s making Rod roleplay!