well hello there beautiful
 
got any spare change?
 
oh I see you don’t have pockets.
 
want a sugarcube?
 
too bad I don’t have any.
 
hey you wanna see a magic trick?
 
pick a card, any card!
 
yeah I don’t have any cards, either.
 
how about this then. see my thumb? see my thumb?
 
oh would you look at that, it came right off!
 
my thumb didn’t really come off.
 
so… how about this rain? pretty wet, huh?
 
that’s what she said! right? right?
 
this reminds me of back in ‘nam
 
oh hey you’re not one of those asian ponies, are you?
 
I don’t wanna be racist, after all.
 
man, those asian ponies, right?
 
ugh, hold on, I have to take this.
 
hello? hello? yes? huh. no, I—really? you don’t say? uh huh. maybe not. oh, definitely.
 
wait, where are you going come back! you’re my best friend!