Yakko: Heigh Ho, Dayaknow, the names of the US residents who than became the presidents and got a view from the White House loo off Pennsylvania Avenue…
Wakko: George Washington was the first, you see,
He once chopped down a cherry tree.
Dot: President number two would be
John Adams, and then number three…
Yakko: Tom Jefferson stayed up to write
A declaration late at night.
So he and his wife had a great big fight
And she made him sleep on the couch all night.
Wakko: James Madison never had a son
And he fought the War of 1812.
Dot: James Monroe’s colossal nose
Was bigger than Pinocchio’s.
Yakko: John Quincy Adams was number six
And it’s Andrew Jackson’s butt he kicks.
So Jackson learns to play politics.
Next time, he’s the one that the country picks.
Dot: Martin Van Buren, number eight
For a one-term shot as chief of state.
Yakko: William Harrison, how do ya praise?
That guy was dead in thirty days!
Wakko: John Tyler he liked country folk…
Dot: And after him came President Polk.
Yakko: Zachary Taylor liked to smoke,
His breath killed friends whenever he spoke.
Wakko: 1850, really nifty,
Millard Fillmore’s in.
Yakko: Young and fierce was Franklin Pierce,
The man without a chin.
Dot: Followin’ next a period spannin’
Four long years with James Buchanan.
Then the south starts shootin’ cannons
And we got a Civil War.
The Warners: (to the tune of “I Wish I Was in Dixie”)
A war!
A war down south in Dixie!
Yakko: Up to bat comes old Abe Lincoln.
Dot: There’s a guy who’s really thinkin’!
Wakko: Kept the United States from shrinkin’,
Saved the ship of state from sinkin’!
Dot: Andrew Johnson’s next,
He had some slight defects.
Wakko: Congress each would impeach…
Dot: And so the country now elects…
Yakko: Ulysses Simpson Grant,
Who would scream and rave and rant…
Wakko: While drinkin’ whiskey, although risky,
‘Cause he’d spill it on his pants.
Yakko: It’s 1877 and the Democrats would gloat.
But they’re all amazed when Rutherford Hayes
Wins by just one vote.
Dot: James Garfield someone really hated
‘Cause he was assassinated.
Wakko: Chester Arthur gets instated.
Four years later, he was traded…
Dot: For Grover Cleveland, really fat,
Elected twice as a Democrat.
Then Benjamin Harrison, after that,
It’s William McKinley up to bat.
Yakko: Teddy Roosevelt charged up San Juan Hill.
Wakko: And President Taft, he gets the bill.
Yakko: In 1913, Woodrow…
The Warners: Wiiiiillllllllllson
Takes us into World War I!
(Military cadence)
Yakko: Warren Harding, next in line.
Dot: It’s Calvin Coolidge, he does fine.
Wakko: And then in 1929,
The market crashes and we find…
Yakko: It’s Herbert Hoover’s big debut.
He gets the blame and loses to…
Dot: Franklin Roosevelt, President who
Helped us win in World War II.
Wakko: Harry Truman, weird little human,
Serves two terms and when he’s done…
Yakko: It’s Eisenhower who’s got the power
From ‘53 to ‘61.
Dot: John Kennedy had Camelot
Then Lyndon Johnson took his spot.
Yakko: Richard Nixon, he gets caught
And Gerald Ford fell down a lot.
Wakko: Jimmy Carter liked campaign trips.
Yakko: And Ronald Reagan’s speeches’ scripts
All came from famous movie clips,
And President Bush said, “Read my lips.”
Dot: Now in Washington, DC…
Wakko: There’s Democrats and the GOP…
Yakko: But the ones in charge are plain to see…
Dot: The Clintons, Bill and Hillary!
Yakko: The next President to lead the way,
Well, it might just be yourself one day.
Then the press’ll distort everything you say…
The Warners: So jump in your plane and fly away!
My favorite pony is Celestia. I want her as Supreme Ruler of France.
No need for democracy when you have an enlightened monarch, that the one thing the French Renaissance taught me.
I’m Irish but have Celestia for president. A freaking sun goddess could do the whole world some good. Well unless it’s the one the Aztecs were worshipping with sacrifices and all that.
>no pony is 35 years of age, an natural-born American citizen, or a permanent resident of 14 years
>you will never have a pony for president
@gittons, Impious, Molestia, others
>implying Celestia can run a nation of 300,000,000+ people
>implying she’ll be able to handle Congress, the Supreme Court, the media, and the general public, each of which is extremely polarized and divided
Vinyl Scratch for president.
She’ll probably make the national anthem a dubstep song so we’d all only have to remember about 3 words. She’d definitely be the best president ever.
