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Being fixated on the unfairness of your situation and not going on living is a bad thing, but like I said… well, it’s all there, isn’t it? A lot of people only got where they are now because they didn’t accept that they had to quit dreaming, face reality, and accept that it was impossible.
And continuing to try doesn’t mean you live only for that one thing. If I couldn’t walk, I’d keep seeking ways to regain that ability and I’d do what I could with everything else I had in the meantime.
There are also people with disabilities that will never be reversed, no matter how hard they try. Some of those people are miserable because they are unable to accept that - they are fixated on the unfairness of their situation. Other people accept that it is their new reality and they go on to live fulfilling lives in spite of their disabilities.
See, people with disabilities are often told what their limits will be, and when you struggle with something and don’t make much headway, frustration is the obvious result. But people often (yes, in reality.) end up breaking the predicted limits.
Sounds like sound if tough advice for someone in a wheelchair, right? But there are many people walking now (after physical therapy, after techniques that they didn’t have access to early on, after their body just being better at developing/knitting itself than someone had predicted, etc.) who were told that they never would. And when it comes to people who never did end up walking, there are ones who didn’t just end up having good lives, but ended up excelling at things you’d think not being able to walk would be an absolute barrier to. A lawyer in a wheelchair’s not hard to imagine. But a mountain climber in one is totally ridiculous, right? Except, no, that’s not right. (BPs can’t post links; Google ‘wheelchair mountain climbing’ if you need proof.)
It’s not something anyone’s making up so they’ll feel better, it’s truth: many people are walking now who were once told “Quit DREAMING, face REALITY, you will never get out of that chair” by well-meaning doctors and family and their own frustrations. They’re where they are now because they didn’t listen.
Same goes for many who aren’t walking now: they were told “Quit DREAMING, face REALITY, someone in a wheelchair cannot do that.” They ignored it. They found a way.
And in both cases, before they found a way, they were like Scoots in this series of pictures, trying it yet again and having it NOT work.
And walking’s just an example. There are people who can see now who were told they never wound, and blind people who are doing what they were told they blind couldn’t do. Formerly deaf people with their hearing restored is a thing, deaf musicians are a thing. And so on.
Hell, I have multiple relatives who were told “quit DREAMING, face REALITY, you won’t be alive come Christmas” many Christmases ago.
And of course, it doesn’t take a disability or terminal diagnosis - pretty much all of us have been told this by our own frustrations with whatever it was we couldn’t get right. If you’re trying, trying again when at first (and second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth) you didn’t succeed, your brain’s saying this to you right now, I’d bet. It sure as hell is in mine.
Don’t get me wrong, I know not everything works out - in fact the idea that if only you work hard enough it always will too easily leads to victim-blaming and can be poisonous too. But the idea that someone in a situation similar to the one we find Scootaloo in should just give up is simply dead wrong and more poisonous.
It’s also pretty accurate advice for most people.
Also, that cutie mark will remind her forever of her failure. What a sweet, sweet reward for her!
It’d feel like a punch to the gut otherwise.