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Revenant Wings
Wallet After Summer Sale -

Not-So-Stoic Royal Guard
So it’ll end with Spike/Gatsby on the murder end of a murder-suicide, Rarity/Daisy would be with Prince Blueblood/Tom Buchanan who wouldn’t actually love her, and the (as yet unknown) protagonist would be in a strained relationship with Rainbow Dash/Jordan which would end with him moving back to a small town.
 
I like it.
 
@Princess♠Molestia  
Seconded
And Brother I Hurt People
Magnificent Metadata Maniac - #1 Assistant
The 1% - Uploaded 1% or more of the site's images
Squirrel - "Is there a badge for being an oblivious fuck?"
Perfect Pony Plot Provider - 10+ uploads with over 350 upvotes or more (Questionable/Explicit)
Thread Starter - /dis/the-cringe-thread
Fine Arts - Two hundred uploads with a score of over a hundred (Safe/Suggestive)

“I want to get one of those dogs”, Applejack said earnestly. “I want to get one for the apartment. They’re so nice to have - a dog.”
 
We backed up to a gray old colt who bore an absurd resemblance to Filthy Rich. In a basket swung from his neck cowered a dozen very recent puppies of an indeterminate breed.
 
“What kind are they?” asked Applejack eagerly.
 
“All kinds.”
 
“I’d like to get one of those royal guard dogs, I don’t suppose you got that kind?”
 
The colt peered doubtfully into the basket, plunged in his hand and drew one up, wriggling, by the back of his neck.
 
“That’s no royal guard dog,” said Macintosh doubtfully.
 
“Well, it’s not exactly a royal guard dog, it’s more like, eh, one of those farm dogs. A Winona.”
 
“How much for it?”
 
“That dog? It’ll cost you ten dollars.”
 
The Royal Guard Dog - undoubtedly there was an Airedale concerned in it somewhere, though its feet were startlingly white - changed hands and settled down with Applejack, where she fondled it with rapture.
 
“Is it a boy or a girl?” she asked delicately.
 
“That dog’s a boy.”
 
“It’s a bitch,” said Macintosh decisively. “Here’s your money. Go buy ten more dogs with it.”
 
(I should probably get back to my life after that)