i am not sure if this guy tend to hang out with is a pedophile or not...

he tends to drop what ever he is doing, to babysit a 7 year old girl of his friend's, but the issue with that is the father is job-less so is home all the time and rather call him over to babysit whilst he goes out and gets shit-faced or in all sorts of trouble. the babysitter is nearly 30 and has no girlfriend, works part-time 2 days a week and is always at their house when ever he can be.

now it has become weird as he (the babysitter/adopt-a-dad) spends quite a bit of money on this kid that's not even his. he's brought her to places that her, this has been going on for years, since she was about 3 or so. he lavishes her with gifts, sometimes out doing the parent's gifts. the child rather spend time with him than her own mom or dad. he recently go her into online gaming, and i see him log onto that kiddy game just to see if she is playing.

i have talked to various people that have more at stake in her well being than i do, namely her uncles, i ask them what they think of this whole situation and whether or not they think he is a pedophile, they all seem to agree that it is awkward that he spends that kind of time and devote that kind of attention. they don't want to jump to the conclusion that he is a pedophile but they seemingly don't want to throw that accusation out there with out proof.

i have heard of her mother coming out and flat out asking him if he was doing anything with her daughter, and he went on to defend himself from the accusations. but when i am hanging out with him he seems to talk as if that child is his girlfriend or something, i tell him he is a pedophile and mean it but he seems to keep brushing it off as a joke or something.

i think his ultimate fantasy is that he will sugar daddy that till the teen years where he can really be a danger to this child.

he doesn't exhibit any interest in women of legal age, only expresses interest in jailbait teens like those on the disney channel or instagrams or whatever the fuck on the internet.

i am not sure whether or not he really is a pedophile...i think it's one of those situations where he'll get caught eventually and shit will hit the fan.

 

sounds to me like you have already made up your mind....

 

i've done what i can short of telling the mother without any quantifiable proof...i don't want any over reaction as well as may be making things worse for everyone. i just talk to the those that are like-minded about the situation for the time being... and see if they will do anything about it (the uncles) they seem to be hesitant about taking any kind of action without proof...

 

not sure how I would handle it...

sounds kind of sticky...

good luck..

 

Question. If this child has uncles, and they know that her real father is out "getting shit-faced or in all sorts of trouble" a lot of the time .. why aren't THEY the ones acting as surrogate father to the child? Why is that role falling to a random 30-year-old guy who isn't even related?

 

call the cops. call the cops. call the cops. For the love of god call the cops. If anything happened to the child and you have done nothing, you'll never forgive yourself

 

And report what crime?

 

not a crime, a suspicion. they'll investigate if there's been a crime.

 

If you ring them up and tell them you don't know about any crimes, there won't BE anything for them to investigate.

 

honestly i have no fucking clue...

the real father is a retard, his older brother has totally given up on him because of all the shit he has pulled over the years (stealing his stuff/money when he isn't home for liquor money)

the brother to the mother of the child has his own life to deal with (full time work, girlfriend etc...) he is also been a friend of mine for years, he's talked to me about this situation with the "babysitter" and i say what i think and that it is up to him to push it further.

the mother is always working, she has a good job and makes good money and is very pretty... i don't understand how a douche bag can land a woman like that and remain unemployed and keep her still. he hasn't even tried to get a job as far as i know, she is even pay for his ticket on some vacation they are going on... this guy isn't a man at all just a boy... he doesn't try to better himself, always surrounds himself with less than reputable people, people that look like addicts or drunkards like himself. last few times i've seen him, he looked as if he had been robbed, black eye and bruises on his face, as well as a sour mood.

i fear for the child, i know she will grow up with daddy issues for sure... i don't want to jump into something and become some sort of home wrecker...i am just an observer...

i think everyone of my friends knows that it is a fucked up situation and choose not to get involved, rather they just want to let shit hit the fan so they are seen as liable for causing any drama, etc...

 

If you tell them everything you put on here, they will investigate.


The reason the world has gone to shit is people doing nothing because they don't want to interfere or don't want to be involved... Don't live to regret doing nothing

 

You could try getting ahold of social services, see if they could check up on the family situation. My mom did that when she was concerned about her sisters living situation.

 

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call them for what?

the child is almost like, brainwashed... she love's her "babysitter" she even requests him by name when she is home with her dad.

when she was around 3 she use to cry and go ballistic when they tried to separate the babysitter from her...she is really attached to him and he is really attached to her... it seems unhealthy and it seems as if he treats her like a girlfriend rather than a child that you are watching.

they've taught her to lie about things such as how often he is there and what not... it's a sad situation that will blow up eventually...

i wonder how will it be when she is like in her mid teen years... when drama with parents usually happens... will she get into an arguement with her parents and then threaten to run off to "babysitter's" house... or when the parents refuse to buy her a car, will she whore herself out to the babysitter for a car? these things could be answered in the next several years.

the babysitter seems to want to cement his presences to the child so that she will never forget him.

the child seems to rather play with him than children of her own age... she gets jealous when he even talks or plays with her little cousin (daughter of the older brother to dead-beat-dad) though at times i think the older brother of the dad is just as bad with fathering because he just leaves his kid infront of the tv while he stays in the garage and plays that star wars online game all night and smokes weed, but hell, who am i to judge someone's parenting styles when i don't have kids...

 

well i doubt that will do anything, they live with the dead-beat-dad's parents who are white upper middle class people.

the father has been convicted before though and i don't understand why the mother still stays with him. he had been convicted of touching his teenage step niece who they had gotten drunk. he spent 5 months or so in jail, and yet his girlfriend still stays with him... she is beyond loyal to him and people don't know why, he hasn't had a legitimate job, ever and when he does get a job through what ever hook up he flakes after one day of work.

if a douche bag like that can virtually wife a pretty asian girlfriend i have not a clue what really attracts women... he has no redeeming qualities as a man, gives up too easily, seriously under-educated. i mean he dropped out of high school for her and she still manages to end up as a retail store manager and gets paid well.

i think both parents are to blame, they let the "babysitter" come over when it seems overwhelming to watch their own child...

 

Blunt, just because you don't have kids doesn't mean you aren't aware that something may be wrong. If you feel that something inappropriate is going on, act on that feeling. If you don't act in time, and something is going on, will you be able to forgive yourself knowing that you could have prevented a terrible crime from being committed?

It also sounds like you're also aware of some kind of child neglect going on.

 

i think i've done what i could, and that's tell the uncles what i think and what i hear. it's up to those that are closer to the family to make the actions.

it's a sticky situation...everybody is connected in some way, be it family or as friends. so if shit hits the fan it gets on everybody.

 

RIDICULOUS! If the mother is concerned enough to have to even ASK that question, she should see to it that he is not allowed anywhere NEAR that child! If I had even the mildest suspicion about someone's interest in my child, that person wouldn't be left alone with the child for a nanosecond, and if it was more than a "mild" suspicion, that person would never set foot in my home again.

Unfortunately, it will be the child who will eventually pay for this mother's stupidity.

And if you seriously believe he's a pedophile, I can't imagine why you are still "hanging out" with him.

 

No, you haven't done all that you could. You have a suspicion that something is wrong. Reporting it to the uncles isn't going to help. They might sweep the whole thing under the run to avoid embarrassment. A child is involved. You can't be worried about offending someone else's senses. The mother already voiced a concern. You need to stop what you are doing AND TELL EITHER THE POLICE OR CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES.

And quit hanging around your *SPAM**SPAM**SPAM**SPAM* friend. The less contact you have with him, the better.

 

well prior to this he was a friend he didn't do these kind of pedophile like things before, but after he stayed at their house for a few months (his house burned down and he needed a place to stay) they were leaving him with the child while they stepped out for smokes. so the child go use to him babysitting.

then the father has useless habits. like he sees someone willing to take over the child care duties for him so he can go out get drunk. from what i remember he use to offer the "babysitter" free pot for watching his kid while he went around doing whatever. after he got convicted he lost all his money and has been just scraping by or relying heavily on his girlfriend... it's sad when you are almost 30 and don't have your own money.

everybody in my circle of friends knows about this situation and choose to stay away from it.

i'd like to believe that the babysitter is just fucking around...but sometimes when he says pedophilic stuff i tell him to say it infront of the mother or when one of the uncles are around. he only says this stuff when it is just me and him, but if there is one more person he doesn't say anything pedophilic