Thought some of you might find this amusing...

I'm an adult male who enjoys anal. Never been pegged, only done things on my own. I decided to finally buy an actual professionally made dildo to use. I sent for it in the mail, but I didn't want it sent to my address, because people I live with are nosy AF. So, I looked it up, and saw that you can send something to the post office and have them hold it there, so I did that.

Today I went to pick up the package. I had to wait to see the supervisor, who informed me that, yes, they have my package, but you're not supposed to send it to the post office to hold like that, and it was a thing. This is not ideal to begin with, but then he goes and gets the package and...discreet my ass. They put it in a soft bubble wrap package. I was expecting a box, and instead it's soft plastic packaging in the shape of exactly what it was. I guess I should have bought some other shit with it, huh?

I mean, it's in a plastic display box, so it doesn't have to be a dildo but...yeah they knew it was a dildo. He gave it to the girl to scan and everything. I suppose the only way that could have gone worse was if the package broke open or something.

So that happened.

 

Could have said you were picking it up for some asshole !

 

Damn! That would be super embarrassing. You would think a dildo company would know that people want discreet packaging.

 

Good bb

 

You would think discretion would be the norm

 

Ok, here's the plan: next time, order it directly to your place, then pick out two or three of your nosiest neighbors and mail them one of these gag packages (available on amazon) so they arrive on the same day

 

When I was a letter carrier many times packages would tear or break open during handling. There were lots of toys and videos that were spilled in the middle of the workroom. We all checked them out before repacking them.

 

Hope it was fun when you finally got home

 

Hey, you're only human. You are allowed to enjoy toys. Unlucky with how it was packaged. Oh well, you have it now so have fun with it. You should had acted like a kid at Christmas. Jumping up and down yelling "yes, i can't wait to get home with my new toy!"

 

Try getting a package in the mail and your teenager giggles and says "i think i know what that is." Then tells you that you have a whole drawer full of that stuff. Lol

 

Try hearing the waste management truck and tiptoeing quickly out to the dumpster in our Mortuary parking lot with a trash bag of spoiled meat from our deep freezer. Wearing only a black short satin robe and tossing the bag into the dumpster quickly as the truck is pulling up. Then turning quickly to dash back and your short satin robe gets caught on the dumpster. And it pulls your robe wide open, giving the trashmen a nice view of your bare breasts and pussy. Well, that happened to me last Saturday early morning as it was just starting to get a little bit light out.

 

Sounds amazing @VampirTARA! You know those guys shot loads in their pants when they saw you.

 

When you order your dildo at AliExpress or Wish, don't be surprised that the mandatory description of contents says, male adult toy.

 

duplicate. how do I delete

 

I frequently joyed using my suction cup dildos in the shower . One evening while enjoying myself a bit too rather vigorously, I felt the dildo quickly slide out of my ass and made a horrible crashing sound when it hit the tub. I had pulled a tile off the shower wall and several more were about to follow. The girl living with me at the time was mortified. She heard the crash and came running and there I am in the shower with my dildo and a broken tile on the floor and the wall about to come down. She moved out a few weeks later.

 

My most memorable “funny embarrassment” situation was not what you might expect…. Relatively early in my marriage, my wife had explained to me that her mom was jealous of the sex life her daughter and I shared. I was rather happy because it usually meant that my wife would be more willing to have sex when we traveled to visit her mother. Well on one trip, we arrived between midnight and 1 am like usual. For this trip, we couldn’t stay in the guest room we would normally sleep in, so we were in another room. Her mom heads off to bed, and my wife & I go into the room and begin to undress for bed. My wife has her shirt & bra off and is down to her panties on one side of the bed, and I am on the other. I also have my shirt off, and am removing my jeans, so I am bent at the waist facing the bed with my ass towards the bedroom doom, but I still have my jockeys on. Suddenly the door swings open and her mother walks in to tell us where we can find spare blankets and sees me there with my back to her, stops stalking mid sentence, and the door quickly closes. My wife almost instantly broke out in laughter telling me I should have seen the look on her mother’s face. She saw her daughter there wearing only panties with her to its exposed, and me undressing facing her. She said the look on her mother’s face was like she walked in on us mid-fuck and saw everything. The next morning, her mother avoided me, and apologized to my wife many, many times saying “I didn’t see him naked, honest!” My wife & I still get a great laugh out of that from time to time, but it did break the mood, and I didn’t get to fuck her that night…. Her mother was so embarrassed, but she was the only one who was, and she was still fully dressed (although I would have lover for her to have seen my hard cock wanting to fuck her daughter that night, and had she been 10 minutes later she might have seen me actually doing it…