Vent thread

…I hate it when people tl;dr, especially when they try to engage in a very much one-sided exchange. Seriously, I don’t put the time and effort into something just to have it dismissed wholesale on the grounds that people can’t be assed to actually hear out my thoughts before attacking them!
 
…that’s not to say that getting ignored altogether is an acceptable alternative…

@MoogSourceVermona  
That makes more sense

Dammit, I hate my life.
 
I get out of high school, and decide not to be railroaded into college anymore because I can’t take any more being in school and the money and paperwork just pisses me off in it’s complication.
 
And then, I’m stuck without goals in life, and decide, after alot of idle time, to get a job. Then, I come to the conclusion I have no idea how to get a job and realize how ill-fucking prepared I am for adult life, and the people who refuse to treat me like anything but a difficult to train dog were probably right to do so.
 
And here I sit, yet another place has failed to deliver on giving me a job that I can at least try to do well. She breathes down my neck, trying to get me a job not so I can get on the road to being self-sufficient, the only scraps of a goal I possess, but so she can see some return on her investment.
 
I can’t live like this much longer.
 
It eats away at the soul.

@PonyPon  
I know what you mean.

@PonyPon  
This. This so fits my life as well; except it’s like every break in my schedule from school. I’m currently in college, but people are constantly breathing down my neck to get me a job.. and whenever I do get a job, other people go into my bank account and take my money… my parents still owe me $300… and when you work minimum wage in between semesters, $300 is a lot of money.

@PonyPon  
Same here, cept I actually did attend a few semesters of community college, Honestly I don’t even know if I want to go for the major I was doing anymore.
 
Anything I have to vent about, well art stuff. I love drawing, but, don’t have the focus, schedule or time to do it as much as I’d like. Like today I worked really hard to make a picture, and posted it on DA and FA, and it barely got any notice sans a couple people. I’m not a very good artist, so I know I won’t get dozens of favorites in the first 5 minutes, but still, it hurts when no one comments, no one says good job, no one points out errors for me, no one will even say it sucks. I feel like a ghost sometimes. >.<
 
I made a fairly extensive reference for a character of mine a month or two ago, it took a very long time, and no one said anything about it. And it didn’t look bad either. It was just genuinely ignored. That hurts.
 
I care about recognition because I haven’t gotten any real sense of accomplishment or acknolwedgement in my life, I enjoy drawing, so I figured I could get some recognition for that, but no…not yet. Maybe when I improve, but…it takes a lot of drive to get to that point. Something I don’t think I have.

@Sono
 
Don’t feel that bad. It happens to pretty much all artists. It’s like a rule.
 
That beautiful Mona Lisa you made, ignored. Picture of a anthro Cheezit slapping a raccoon you did in 5 minutes, Everyone looks at it.
 
As for improvement, best way to do that is take atleast an hour a day and draw from reference. Draw humans , backgrounds, whatever you want to improve on. Be ready to fail alot, then try again.

@Princess♠Molestia  
Yeah it’s true. It’s just easy to forget that when every fellow artist you talk too/watch, regardless of skill level get tons more attention.
 
Yeah…funny thing about that. I made a picture of Pinkie Pie a while ago (check my uploads) It wasn’t very good as I’ve only drawn ponies a sparse number of times, and it got a lot more attention then anything I was actually somewhat good at ._.
 
I reference sometimes, in fact I plan to tomorrow if I don’t feel groggy.

The one thing that hurts me the most is me.
 
I have a lot of stories/ideas in my head, but when it comes time to put them on paper(or computer screen) I just freeze up. Like I can’t think of what I want to say or how I want to say it. Or I get all tied up in worrying about my grammar or spelling.
 
 
And there is this stupid, childish, fear that I just can’t seem to shake; “What if nobody likes this? Am I wasting my time? Am I just a hack?”
 
It’s simultaneously aggravating & depressing.

‘sup derplings
 
After some drunken introspection in a forest, i realized that i might actually be depressed. And sure enough, every online quiz i’ve taken seems to confirm that, rating me at moderate to severe depression.
 
I’m not sad or anything like that, but instead i’ve stopped caring about anything. I’ve become apathetic towards life in general. I can’t even remember the last time i did something productive, most of the time i just sit on my ass playing games, watching movies and generally being an unproductive fuck up because i just can’t bring myself to care enough to get shit done. I also eat noticeably less, and though i used to eat semi-healthily, now i just devour whatever junk takes the least effort to prepare.|| Aaand there are days i don’t feel like eating at all.|| Or getting out of bed for that matter.
 
But yea. I’ve stopped giving a fuck about my health, my social life, and even my own future. I just dick around, doing nothing productive, drifting along like a ship without a rudder.

@PaskaNaakka  
I understand what you’re going through.
 
These days I inherently know I should be doing something, but the will to do so just isn’t there.
 
Which is small comfort when others want me to do things they should have learned by now I don’t want to do(sometimes with them, mostly not at all), and they claim I never want to do anything.

@PonyPon  
It feels especially bad when you just can’t do the stuff you absolutely should do for your own future(studies!) but just don’t give a shit.  
I’m actually a little relieved now that i’ve realized it’s probably because of depression i’m feeling this way. There’s a reason for it, and there’s also possibly help for dealing with it.

@PaskaNaakka  
Sounds like something I had. Think my case was more of a burn-out, though. Hope you manage to pull through it.

@Solitude  
Thanks. I usually pull through stressful times with almost Maud-like stoicism, but after almost two years of loneliness it seems my feeble human emotions have caught up with me.

@PaskaNaakka  
Stoicism, when used as a Sheild, has an expiration date.
 
Since joining this fandom, I find myself much more passionate and emotional, in good and bad ways.

On another forum, there is a member (identity not given) that I just want to smack the shit out of.
 
He is not only an anti-brony dickhead, but he also thinks his POS Sunbird is somehow superior to other cars and brings it up every chance he gets.

Regarding the idea of “modern feminism”
 
I honestly no longer have ANY clue who the hell to trust in regards to it. I’ve heard arguments from both sides, and both sides do have legitimate points.
 
But everyone, EVERY. ONE. Is so frickin’ angry and ragey it’s impossible to tell who to trust. I can’t tell if they’re speaking actual fact or talking out their ass, if it’s biased or trying to be neutral. Everyone seems to have a “I’m right. You’re an incorrect retard” attitude. It’s frightening.

@Princess♠Molestia  
I know, right?

@Princess♠Molestia  
I’d say that you should take a Third option

@trashboat  
Which would be?

@Princess♠Molestia  
Take a third option, I never said that I knew what it was

@trashboat  
…Then there is not third option.

@ThatRandomGuy42  
…I’m saying that He could think of a Third option

To bitch about my own personal issues that noone cares about, then add the cliche statement about noone caring to fake some Idea I’m self aware when I’m really just a pretentious bitch.
 
I am deathly terrified of getting into even a single arguement with anyone. I can’t think quickly, and I stumble pretty much the minute another point is brought up. Most of all, I am deathly terrified of being wrong. Because I just know the minute I make one wrong move, I get screamed at and branded an idiot for life, and it terrifies me.
 
I refuse to even talk about politics, religion, or even get into a basic argument because of this. All I can do is sit there and say “You’re right. I’m piece of shit fuckwad.” Because I am terrified of being wrong.

@Princess♠Molestia  
I understand that.
 
I like to think I can combat those weaknesses by staying calm, and taking the conversation at my own pace no matter how belligerent the opposition gets.
 
And in case they actually prove me wrong, make sure that you’re secure in anything you want to argue about, so that if you do lose, the loss won’t feel so bad.
 
Of course, this doesn’t even work in my real life, so….