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This just in, a man was found dead in his home. When paramedics arrived at the scene, they explained what could only be called a horror scene. The man’s chest had been ripped wide open, oddly though, from the inside. Medics at the scene described it only as “a violent heart explosion tearing open his chest”. Curious to find what caused the death, one of the medics located at his monitor, though caked in gore, suffered a minor heart attack from the image. A worldwide alert has gone out to avoid looking at a particular pinkish young pony wearing an over sized sweater and socks while drinking from an apple juice box, chance of survival are in the negative. Doctors warn that even thinking of the image may cause one of your heart valves to disentigrate.
More at 11. Next up, Jersey Shore has been cancelled…has the Obama Administration done something right? Stay tuned!
SHIT.