Flutterbat is best bat. :)

@Beau Skunky  
 
I assume you then ask the crumpets to explain the sport.

Cricket? Nobody understands cricket! First you got to know what a crumpet is to understand cricket!

Well now, that’s a sticky wicket, i’nit?
 
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Well, SOMEONE had to say it!

You can also get a four (automatically given 4 runs) if you hit the ball and it bounces before reaching the field boundary, and a six for hitting it clean out of the field.

@Background Pony #4486  
As has been observed in Monty Python’s Flying Circus: All the Bits, cricket is like nuclear physics, only more confusing.

@Background Pony #4486  
Shaking all about and doing the Hokey-Cokey is optional.

Rarity: Fluttershy sweetness please come over here, and… do stop being a cricket bat.
 
@Itsthinking
 
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out, and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out. When they are all out, the side that’s out comes in and the side thats been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
 
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who stay all out all the time and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game!

@Itsthinking  
It’s nothing like baseball.

“Having a good solid piece of wood in your hoof is often useful.”

@Itsthinking  
And as demonstrated below, a cricket bat makes a good zombie killing tool.

@Itsthinking  
That’s pretty much it. You’ve got two batsmen protecting their wickets (the three wooden stumps) at either end of the pitch and attempting to hit the ball as far as they can to give them time to run back and forth, and the fielding team attempting to bowl them out (hit the wicket with the ball) or catch them out (catch the ball after the batsman hits it but before it bounces). There’s more to the game than that, but that’s the basics.

How the hell do you even play this game? All I’ve got is that it’s kind of like baseball except you run back and forth between two lines.

That’s just not Cricket! Well IT IS but…