First Base decides to throw a party at Ruby Pinch’s house.

First Base: So, what are we gonna do this weekend, pinchy old pal? Uh, skydiving, a safari, a trip to the tattoo parlor?
Ruby Pinch: I’m just going to stay home.
First Base: Just stay home? Ruby Pinch buddy, why did Vince away from our golden childhood years sit around with my mom and my dad?
Ruby Pinch: But my parents are gone for the weekend and I promised I’d watch the house.
First Base: Oh. What did you say your folks were gone?
Ruby Pinch: Uh-huh.
First Base: PARTY AT PINCHY’S! PARTY AT PINCHY’S!
Ruby Pinch: Shhh. First Base, I can’t throw a party. My parents are trusting me!
First Base: But it’s your duty as a youth of America! To throw a party when your folks go out of town.
Ruby Pinch: It is.
First Base: Sure! How do you think parties happen anyway?
Ruby Pinch: Well, I hadn’t given it much fun.
First Base: Come on, it’s not gonna kill you to have some fun.
Ruby Pinch: Well, okay First Base. You can come over, but you’ve got to promise not to touch anything. My parents will kill me if they find the best and don’t tell anyone else.
First Base: Hey, my biggest button.